Brussels has been kind to me since i came back from my short trip to Brunei. So kind that along with the rest of the world they’ve decided to screen the much anticipated movie of 2015 – Starwa…. DILWALE. If i didn’t ask the office boy at work if he watched hindi films i wouldn’t have known that it was playing here and was thiiiis close to jumping on the next Eurotrain (in the style of Chennai Express) to London just to see it.
The movie was so good that i felt the need to write about it. In leading up to the movie I made sure i watched Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge. Which was apparently the movie that they claimed to be the beginning of SRK and Kajol’s on-screen romance. Unfortunately, DDLJ did nothing for me, but i’m cutting it some slack, it would’ve probably made a difference had i watched it when it first screened 15 years ago.
Anyway 15 years later, Dilwale came out promising a continuity to this chemistry and so much more and it freakin DELIVERED. It’s like discovering Hindi movies for the first time. Remember that time when Kuch Kuch Hota Hai came out? and the whole world celebrated? Exactly the same feeling. There’s just something about Bollywood movies that resonates within you and like a good book, i love getting lost in them.
DILWALE deserves a DIWALI of its own.
The locations it was filmed in also made all the difference. I am beginning to see how Europe is made for Hindustan!!! Its vast mountainous landscapes, lush flower fields, big blue skies are all meant for a remarkable bollywood affair 🙂
I’ve downloaded the OST off itunes and it’s been on repeat since Christmas. Adele? ha siapa Adele? Justin Bieber? Siapa tu? hehe.
If you have an opportunity to watch the movie go and watch it and celebrate Kajol and the undisputed King of Bollywood – Shah Rukh Khan!!!!
I’ve been meaning to blog about this for a very long time.
So I am one of those people who got on to the gmail bandwagon when it first started and therefore was lucky enough to have my name as an email address. Just my name NO sk8er numbers, NO sharp underscores. It just simply says ‘syazwana’ on my email. And for as long as i can remember, I’ve always received emails coming from other ‘Syazwanas’ in the world…of Malaysia.
It first started off ‘innocently’ with registration confirmation for facebook accounts and I have deactivated and deleted at least 3 Syazwana accounts in the last couple of years. Then telephone bills from DIGI started coming in addressed to a WAN SYAZWANA. At one point, i was receiving work related emails from the Ministry of Health of Malaysia. Troubled by its sensitivities, I have tried emailing back to tell them that the gmail account does not correspond to the SYAZWANA that they are trying to reach.I also get numerous instagram and facebook alerts requesting for new passwords.. wtf kan?
Oh. i forgot to mention that i also have @Syazwana for my instagram account.
It’s the same on instagram. I get tagged alot on faces that doesn’t belong to me. Macam aiks..sejak bila ku memakai tudong planet?
So okay, faking emails for facebook accounts i can somewhat comprehend but i wonder what all these other Syazwanas are thinking when they give their telephone providers and work place the wrong email address? these are like actual institutions! and mind you, the emails i get usually contains REAL PERSONAL INFORMATION? KALAU KU JAHAT??? Kalau ku perompak? Kalau ku kan mau recruit orang jadi DOWNLINE ku?
Eh bodoh le awax ni banar,tak paham lah SAYE..
So why am i only raising the issue on my blog today?
BECAUSE I RECEIVED A FUCKING NEWSLETTER FROM…………..
BONIA.
I was going through my email when i saw BONIA. I was like eh? when did i sign up to fucking Bonia??? Mesti si WAN SYAZWANA atau Si NOR Syazwana membali bag baru ni. btw, ada year end sale 50% (PERATUS ok?)
Bonia isn’t the problem. It’s just that i hate having to second guess MYSELF. mcm… oh maybe i did signed up to Bonia? (in a parallel fucking universe). u know that LALI feeling when you think u did something but you’re not sure? It’s like when you’re on your way to the airport thinking that you’ve left something behind but you dont know apa? (sekalinya barus gigi..) Yes. That! and i absolutely hate it.
My email’s just THAT convenient kali. kalau ku bejumpa drg ani si wan syazwana si nor syazwana, ill sit them down and have them memorize their OWN email addresses…or ku suruh durang buat email durang sendiri dapan ku.. antah imagine ku kalau malaikat betanya durang dalam kubur ‘HOII MANUSIA APA EMAIL KAMU..’ … syazwana@gmail.com
annoying.
skali.. kana tanya lagi ‘TETAPKAN LALUAN KATA INSTAGRAM KAMU’ ..’forgot password – email to syazwana@gmail.com new password’.
Wah. Where did the year go? I spent at least 9 months ..no..not pregnant. but feeling sorry for myself. 9 months of pity-partying and now i’m slowly calming-down from its effects – a good thing. I am so grateful for being allowed to take 3 weeks leave from Europe which is all that i need to recuperate. The tropical sun and the warmth of family, Pepinot and Bane did help to bring back a little bit of colour to my face. I’m currently blogging from London, two euro train stops away from Brussels which i now call home. I start work Monday. I should promise myself at least 2 weeks of Bruniean vacation a year. I am now ready to face another year blood, sweat and tears. I’m approaching Brussels with a pair of fresh eyes and hopefully a stonger heart!
In Brunei, I ran, i ate, i laughed and i ‘Gegared Veganzad’ my time away, like Nassier Wahab’s face, i feel rejuvenated and young again. Like all the other times, i don’t really expect this feeling to last but i’m just going to have to live in the moment. u know lah, life! sometimes u upstey, sometime u downstey..thats why when u downstey it’s important for you to be around the right people.. just to make it a little bit easier for you to bounce back. I cannot wait till my next Bruneian holiday. uh. lama lagi plang. Tapi paling yang ku inda miss, paci paci yang penguratan di stadium atu. like PULEAZE. PULEAZE ok.
PULEAZE *emoji kuku cutex warna ping* buleh lagi kamu UP kan sikit game mengurat kamu atu? Mun muka yewww mcm muka nassier wahab kah Ramli M.S kah nda jua kenapauuu..ani mcm… ntah ah inda ME tau apa ME kan ckp.. tp SHADAP. I was cooling down after a run when a group of uncles walked towards me, i had my earphones on but my music was off when a paci went “Assalamualaikum…” when i didn’t reply and continued looking ahead he added “ee..pdntah nda menjawab, pakai earphone rupanya”. skali aku pusing aku ckp SHADAP.ok. i SHRIEKED. i said SHADAP.. in a shriek-y angered voice. skali durang ketawakan aku ucapkan aku perasan. oh. nasib jadi seorang perempuan. di jawab kana ucap gatal, inda di jawab kana ucap tuli, di lawan kana ucap perasan. lol. i knew i shudnt have reacted the way i did, but it came almost like a reflex. Was more of a misplace displace anger kinda situation kali. 3 months ago, in brussels, i was sexually harassed at the park on my first day back of running. skali sampai ani lah kali trauma, i just hate the fact that a girl can’t run in peace. if a girl has been sexually harassed di Brunei people would be quick to judge them by their clothing and behaviour…what is disappointing the same judgement would also be passed by women.bukan apa tani sebagai perempuan mesti jua menyokong perempuan lain. dimana saja..sama ada di rumah, di tampat keraja..di stadium..atau dimana jua berada. makasehhh. tapi puas plang atiku ku teraisi paci atu..hwahwahwa..krg ani nda lagi main besalam paci..main SWIPE RIGHT. wooo.
masak sudah ku laki2 mengambang ani.. hahaha.. ada lagi ariatu kami di Kadai Komunis… inda jua ‘ariatu’ lah’ time nya bejual dvd cetak rompak masih. An uncle went up to the sales girl and dangan senyaring nyaring suaranya betanyakan kalau ada “DVD STEVEN SEAGAL BARU” when the sales girl asked “AH APA?” kuat lagi ia menjawab “STEVEN SEAGAL BAH. STEVEN SEAGAL. YANG BARU!” lolllzzzzzz mcm lagi kuat ya ckp steven seagal atu mikin basar muscle di dada nya. mikin nyaring, mikin SADO hahahahahaha. mun aku sales girl atu ku tawakan kali eh.. PACI.. STEVEN SEAGAL BARU PACI?????????????????????????? banyak injek steroid kali kita ani paci… sadar kita kah ani taun 2015…SS nda lagi pemes……….. pemes lagi Nassier Wahab.
kdg2 cali2 the characters that u bump into.. i was with Elush on a roadtrip to Nafi for the first time. Somehow we made the wrong turn and drove into British Garrison ..when we asked the abang security for the directions to Nafi..he told us in what we think was his most sweetest sing-a-song voice.. ‘YOU keluar sini..kanan, skali YOU nampak BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM…skali kiri’. We quickly thanked him and made our way….. MCM KAMI TAU SAJA APA BAM ANI KAN? BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM. mmm..banai ta tewww..
Before leaving Brunei, I was showered with really warm farewells. My good friends, all of them, cleared their calendars to make time to see me for a farewell coffee session, farewell dinner, farewell run at the stadium, farewell brownie bake sale. Some of these friends I’ve known all my life, some of them I just met not too long ago but all of them had put in the same effort. My sisters were also quick to point out how lucky i am to have this big(ish) group of friends that really cared.
I do have really good friends. So good, that sometimes i feel guilty for not being able to repay their kindness. You see, I may not be lucky in the love department but it’s good to know that i have friends that i can really rely on. Friends that i know who would be there for me no matter what – ada duit kah nada duit kah, lampoh kah kurus kah, bida kah lawa kah..bejagok kah inda kah.. ada bag chanel ka nada bag chanel ka..ada make up itu la..nada make up ini lah..babi kah barok kah… …
It took me a lot of trial and errors to get here but I have found my posse and I’m holding them close to my heart.
That’s the thing about meeting new people. You meet a lot of them, but it’s pretty rare that anything would come out of it. It’s either a hit of a miss. Most times it’s a miss. Anyway, being single and 30.. i realise how important it is to maintain these relationships exsp when you’re in a frosty weathered foreign country that gets dark by 5pm. loneliness definitely has a way of creeping in. Being in touch with my friends is just the thing you need to feel or fuzzy and warm inside.
Kan. God is fair like that. Yes i dont have a BF..but i have lots of lots of BFF who i can get in touch with at the touch of a button. kajap..aku bedoa dulu ah:
To my friends, wherever you are, I pray for your safety, for your health and happiness.
Three weeks into exercising and i have finally lost 1kg. A far cry from what i was aiming but I’m just relieved that I am still capable of losing weight. So relieved that I decided to treat myself to a generous spread of kaya on toast. So generous, i may have as well have doused the whole bottle of Kaya.
It’s true what they say, it is what you eat that matters. I am trying to wean off sugar and because i craved chicken rice so much i made a quinoa version yesterday – which was so good, i forgot to take a photo. I probably owe this week’s achievement to all the work related lunch/dinner/receptions i attended this week. European hospitality is ‘carefully rationed’ in a sense that for lunch you’d usually get served pieces of sourdough bread with some cheese on top and if you’re really lucky,a side of salad and some anti-pasti like cold smoked ham – which is ahem. haram.
Now that i’m on a diet and committed to losing all this weight i’ve packed in the last 7 months, I say BRING IT ON, kalau boleh banyak banyak lagi HAM please so that i can totally have a reason not to have anything haha. Ok.
Here’s a best kept secret that everyone should know about me: I DONT LIKE CURED MEATS. i hate anything smoked or aged. be it ham or beef or chicken. anything smokey i cannot have. i can’t tell you how many people i’ve offended due to this great distaste for ‘smoked-anything’..this is probably the only thing that i feel obliged to turn down. i cannot guys. sorry. other than smoked salmon everything else is….yucks. spaghetti with sausages? yuck. pizza topped with salami, pepperoni – yuck. hot dogs…- yuck. I don’t care if you guys says its nyaman, I AM NEVER GOING ANYWHERE NEAR IT. It’s my kryptonite, like nails on chalk board.. i cannot. absolutely cannot.
I was frying up my quinoa with what i thought was pure chicken fat yesterday when it started smelling like sausages. I ran to the fridge and got out the bag of what i thought was chicken lard.. true enough, it said ‘smoked chicken ham’ on the package..at first i was was against throwing good quinoa into the trash.. but the longer it was on the stove, the stonger it smelled of sausages..so i had no choice but to throw it away and started frying up a new batch of quinuo – sans chicken anything.
– ran on treadmill for two weeks
– lost a kilo
-attempted making pumpkin cupcakes. failed on the cream cheese icing (as expected).
– currently obsessed with Justin Beiber
– this song on repeat: ‘what do you mean – Justin Bieber’
– only ran once this week cos of work commitments; will try to drag ass back to gym tomorrow.
– cravings for Tim Tam satisfied with Penguins.
-gained back a kilo
-waiting to try Pilates
– i need nasi lemak and fried chicken in my life.
– throwing a farewell for a friend who will be finishing up her tenure here, it’s going to be a dinner of nasi lemak and fried chicken. next saturday. i cannot wait.
-currently watching Coffee Prince on Netflix
– just a thought: running on treadmill nothing like running outside, this is the longest that ive gone without running outdoors and it’s making me miserable.
– another thought: need to persevere. the treadmill is all i have.
– planning a trip to Melbourne at the end of the year.
– turning off facebook and switching whatsapp numbers so nobody can find me.
– being away just reminded me that not everybody is sincere. you leave home for a new country, suddenly you get msgs from ppl on fb who never bothered saying hi, asking if they could stay with your for a week and use your tax free benefits.
-reminded me of my student days sans diplomatic discount.
– definitely deactivating facebook and changing whatsapp numbers.
I get a tad defensive when someone starts referring to a person as ‘Vanilla’. Meaning to say, that she or he is boring, plain, yawn, nothing out of the ordinary. I just don’t see how ‘Vanilla’ is anything close to this description.
Vanilla is ANYTHING but boring, it is delicious – (dare i say) even better than chocolate (oo, i’m so brave lol) .
Anyway, i haven’t made any new friends since i last posted. The few that i had went away for summer holidays and i’ve been filling up my time with gym, food , random Snapchat updates and ofcourse, netflix. Out of my boredom i have also managed to “come up” with a vanilla cupcake recipe that i can be happy with for now.
Despite being one of my most fav things in this whole wide world, Cupcakes are still my nemesis. I’ve never been able to master the technique of making them. My first go at them was 6 years ago and i had used Magnolia’s recipe for Vanilla cupcakes. They had turned out hard and inedible. I may as well have been frosting Baulu. Fast forward to 2015, I had a craving for Red Velvet a few weeks back and attempted baking them – also failing miserably. Following this, i concluded that one should never to follow a cupcake recipe that calls for OIL. Even if it claims to produce the most-dense-moist-rich-cupcake- in the universe DO NOT GO ANYWHERE NEAR IT and don’t say i didn’t warn you. I really have no fucking idea what magical cupcake world these bakers live in, but it certainly NEVER works in the real world. Tried, tested and failed.
Anyway, even after all the trouble, I still haven’t given up hope in finding and making the perfect Vanilla cupcake recipe. Desperate, I decided to follow this video to a T.
No. the lady is not ‘Joy’ from Joy of Baking. lol. I’ve always thought ‘Joy of Baking’ was a book named after a person called’Joy’..but it’s really not. Turns out, it is what it is.
It seemed easy enough, it uses simple ingredients and instructions weren’t as complicated as some that i have seen which requires ‘egg whites’ to be ‘folded in meticulously’ in to the batter. So complicated and unnecessary, that the recipe may as well have read ‘masukkan tia puteh talor atu dalam ani, menggaul tah kau mcm gila bayi, inda jua mau jadi’.
The cupcakes were almost a success. The frosting recipe is full proof, but the cupcakes came out dry at 177 degrees Celsius with cracked tops that looked like my chapped ‘transition weather’ lips. I then decided to test bake them at three different temperatures: 160 , 165 and 170 degrees and as i had expected, 160 is the optimum heat for MY oven. I guess it depends from kitchen to kitchen, oven to oven, a recipe can be the same but the results may vary. In the second time around, I substituted the milk with butter milk, decreased amount of flour,and added more butter to the batter, overall increasing the fat content to achieve a denser, richer, moister cupcake.And voila! my perseverance paid off.
The tweaking produced a cupcake that i can be finally happy with: sort of fluffy, sort of dense, sort of moist. But it could also have been: less sweet (the icing), more vanilla-ey…….i think that’s it. There’s definitely still room for improvement but i was just happy at the fact that they actually looked like cupcakes! for the first time in my life! i made cupcakes! lol. I don’t know if i’m in the position to give tips, but based on my experience, i think i will anyway:
So far, the secret to Vanilla cupcakes are:
1. Dont over mix the batter. Once the flour is in, treat it like you’re pulling out strands of hair tangled to a hairbrush. Untangling it too quickly might just hurt.
2. No OVEN is the same. Play around with oven temp.
3. SIFT THE ICING SUGAR to yield frosting that would be smooth as freshly powdered baby’s bottom.
4. Make sure you know what ROOM TEMPERATURE BUTTER looks like. Youtube this. (tres important!)
I’m exhausted just writing this entry! If only baking was a piece of cake. It’s not, and you will only get better with time and a lot of patience. Much like life itself. Alternatively, to save you the trouble, you can just buy a cupcake. Money is the solution to everything.
Anyway, i’m going to go and have a bagel for lunch now. bcos im a hey fatty bom bom, sweet sugar vanilla cupcake.
A house with a view, that isn’t mine. The landscape reminded me of Luang Prabang. Only I’m in Europe, where the air isn’t as heavy, roads aren’t as manic and the food slightly more palatable.
There’s not much to complain but i do miss the company of good friends, family and friendlier faces.
It’s wedding season and three of my good friends are getting hitched this month. It’s really unfortunate that i can’t be home to celebrate with them, feeling extremely left out of the festivities I wonder how many more of these things will i miss?
I googled “Brunei Melbourne” and several of my old blog posts showed up on the results page. Clicked randomly, and i was redirected to a blog post dating back to 2/8/2008. It’s like the universe is plotting to remind me that i would be turning 30 in a few days time. I don’t really like reading my old posts as most of them are cringe-worthy. Typically, I would usually just eye ball the page until i get to a picture or and old youtube video that i really like.
Anyway, what caught my eye in this particular post is how i began the post by writing that “i have turned 17 and that i have another year before i can drive.”
The numbers just didnt add up. I’m pretty sure i was older than 17 in 2008 AND if it was ANYTHING that i can do, it was DRIVE. Also,if i was 17, in 2008..shouldn’t i be younger than 30 in 2015? As i scrolled down the pages, it finally made sense; I’ve always maintained that i was 16..and 2008 wasn’t an exception. lol.
I was simply staying true to my age-defying skills. Anyhow, what really struck me is the fact that i have been lying about my age online for more than a decade. I remember the first time I started turning 16 every year…. i was only 18…and now…
i’m 30.
THIRTY…pretty trippy.
where did the time go??????
where have i been???
what have i achieved??????
what’s going to happen next???
WHY AM I NOT A MILLIONAIRE YET?????
I woke up today to the realization that the white streak in my hair is aged-induced..and not the delayed results from the use of cheap shampoo and rebonding procedures in my teens.
*gulp*.
Ok. let me just take some time to reflect (and listen to Back Street Boys) on this and i will revert with a more calm and collected post.
