Puasa di seberang laut.

I think i only did 3 days of fasting last year. I should be embarrassed and I am. But I told myself i’ll make it up this year and will try to puasa as many days as i can. The struggle is in the long hours and the heat of summer. Fortunately (or unfortunately) this year, the seasons have been temperamental. Tulips were growing in winter and spring felt like summer and now that summer’s been here for two weeks, it’s been raining kittens and puppies and i find myself in the basement trying to get my central heating to work again.

So the weather’s acting up like a bad flu..but its ok. i actually prefer it this way rather than having to deal with the actual wrath of summer… and perhaps this is a chance for me to get in more fasting days. I’m entering the 6th day … and it hasn’t been so bad. almost. this also means that ive been off coffee ..like ‘cold turkey’ off coffee..for almost 6 days and i’m still experiencing some set backs in the mornings..but i do feel i’m getting better.

slow pulang masih..mcm to the point that i’m surprised i’m still able to remember who i am when i wake up to go to work in the mornings. Anothing thing i discovered today is that i better stay off the roads whilst fasting because the roads aren’t as friendly. not like they were friendly to begin with but lets just say i wouldn’t want to be a pedestrian during this fasting month, exsp when i know I’M BEHIND THE STEERING WHEEL.

Earlier after work i thought i’d venture out into the city to pay the asian grocery a visit.. i quickly regretted the decision when i realised that my mind wasn’t as sharp to anticipate pedestrians crossing from ALL CORNERS OF THE UNIVERSE OF THE PRINCESS OF THE EARTH and having to find alternative routes due to closed roads and tunnels. mcm. shit. i couldn’t freakin deal! every time i glanced at Waze it kept on showing that it would take me at least 25-30 minutes to get home… i felt like i was on a never ending mountain hike with lunatics. but hey on the upside i scored Kangkung and Yan Yan!

When i reached home with my kangkung haul it was almost six… took a nap to wake up at 8pm.. haha siang masih. these days, whenever i take a nap and wake up around 7-8pm and still be greeted by the glaring sun, i make a little joke and tel myself – “kalau kan menjamur bantal pun sampat lagi ni”.

these long hours sans coffee are really #ramadhanchallenge hashtag worthy yo. this is the longest ive gone without coffee in my system. not even a drop. i hate the fact that i’m so dependent on it.. i need it to function.. i need it to remember where i’m going …i need it to remember MY NAME. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to live without it. It’s time for all that to change.

huhu.hopefully by next week i can go back to living like a normal human being……. also known as ‘a tea drinker’

hahaha. jeng jeng jeng.

The only ramadhan hack that i can certify as full proof is to drink loads and loads of water. I usually get 3 litres on a normal day and i’ve been able to work in the same amount since the start of puasa.. the only shortcoming is the fact that i am forced to chug everything in a shorter time period. Not easy when fasting starts at 3am and ends at 9:54pm… and having to wake up between 3am and 8am to freakin PEE. I lose sleep to PEE. It doesn’t help that the sun rises as early as 3:30 alongside birds singing like they’re in a choir competition.

on another note i hope this month brings us all the other joys of life and akhirat. inshallah.

selamat berpuasa everyone.

kiss me.

Why i’m still a blogger.

i love blogging. it’s a platform for ME. it’s a place where i can safely talk about me me me me me without being interrupted and judged because those who read here respect that it’s my personal space to talk about whatever the fuck i want.

You see, the topic of ‘me’ does not translate really well in real life. People don’t like it when you talk about yourself too much. Even if you’re not talking about yourself, sometimes people intentionally or unintentionally tend to dismiss you.

But here im referencing PEOPLE. It’s kinda ‘ok not ok’ for PEOPLE to dismiss you for talking too much but it’s a whole different story when it comes to FRIENDS.

I do have friends who are genuinely interested to know how i’ve been and what i’ve been up to..and in return i would invest the same amount of time on them. however, lets just say some are better at this than others.

Have you been in situations where you’re caught up in telling a story and you catch the person you’re talking to staring off into space mikirkan isi pocket Doraemon – disinterested? ESPECIALLY after hearing them talk about themselves for a good HOUR?

this is beyond pet peeve ok guys.

You dont get to dismiss somebody even if you find the topic that they’re talking about is boring or irrelevant to your life, cause truthfully they might be thinking the same about you and the shit that you’ve just served on their plate.

But hey i dont know about you but i’m not clocking time or throwing shade cause at the end of the day we are FRIENDS and FRIENDS LET EACH OTHER TALK, BITCH, RANT whatever you want to call it…and if you call yourself a friend, you have the duty to listen and react accordingly..don’t just leave them hanging..be polite and PRETEND to be interested. pretending isn’t being fake. pretending in this context is POLITE..and it could very well SAVE a friendship.

But i understand that some people don’t necessarily share the same courtesy or manners..i dont know, maybe some just have terrible ADD. but to those who are reading this..perhaps try to be a little bit more kinder? be a bit more conscious of your actions towards others.

Good friends at this age aren’t easy to find..and you’re not perfect. Appreciate those who cared enough to stay in your life*.

*this is also a self reminder.

Doraemon kimsalam.

My dear Lisa, you are one of the best listeners in my life and i’m glad our paths crossed. Happy 32nd birthday chook. I couldn’t ask for a better bestie. Love you.

(she doesn’t read here, she doesn’t need to, cause she listens)

x

asal bubus bali baru (repost)

I have been deciphering French news all week. Should’ve opted for French instead of Computer Studies in Form 1. I can’t believe Computer Studies was even a thing. Most of us didn’t even have a computer at home to practice with in those days and we were expected to learn DOS Commands by heart. I would’ve gained more mileage learning to count in French. Ani mcm…

C:\> ingat ingau?

I can never remember jua whether it’s a forward backslash or the opposite..and i always get my ‘:’ and ‘;’ mixed up…like how i get identical twins mixed up in real life.. mcm ..eh ko ani si Bibi kah Bibah? Si bahadur kah si baharum? Si Mumui kah Si Alai?

I think I would’ve been better off taking HOME ECONOMICS too. Balureh jua ku menjahit sluar kraja ku yang banyak bubus ani. Ani asal cuyak (kuyak, carik, cayik) paksa bali baru…

C:\>asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru

seluar mu pun mau ku menjahitkan.

Lainkali sudah ku beranak, semua anakku ku skulahkan skulah Cina. Mun nada skulah cina, skulah India. Mun nada skulah India, ku tinggalkan dalam hutan suruh beguru sama Iban. I can’t stress how important it is to speak other languages apart from your mother tongue.

But yeah i really need to start learning French properly. At least read lah. I’ll deal with the pronunciation later.

merci pour fixer mon pantalon…

thank you for fixing my pants.

au revoir.

Pet Peeve

Word of caution: this is a rant. if you think you can’t handle bitchy today, please close this window now.

I hate it when people write ‘I won’t add you unless i know you’ on their instagram profile page. It just sounds arrogant, narcissistic and barigali and unless you are someone on the same standing as Princess Syahrini, i reckon the best thing for you to do is to quietly turn down saja these requests. I’m sure at some point your wannabe followers knew what they were getting into anyway.

Jangantah kan perasahan sana atu…mcm ‘haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai aku ani bukan pelakon, bukan artis, bukan penyanyi..bukan pemes lah actuallynya, but pls…………………don’t add me unless u know me k’.

Ku block, delete kau saja sampai kiamat.

iwonedunlessiknoutiakarang
kutamparplangkaukrgpakaislipar

This slipar will hit you even if it doesn’t know you.

MONDAY

What is my idea of a perfect day in(doors)?

-Sleeping in and only waking up at noon.
-A whole-day buffet of pizza, cheese burgers, fried chicken, fries and ice cream.
-Hot Chocolate.
-Streaming TV.
-Hours and hours of Sims.

Well. Too bad for me it’s MONDAY which means i’m on a strict diet of rabbit and fish food. I’ve just had my period so there’s absolutely no excuse for me to inhale a line of milk chocolate digestives and the milk that would’ve been perfect to go with it has got to be Soy this week! I can tolerate soy but it takes a lot for me to take out a carton of soy milk from the fridge then it would for full fat. This whole life style change is painful. If i had 3 wishes, one is to wish for faster metabolism. Banartah aku mcm mau ferrari of all metabolisms……. If only i was more aware of my body as a kid. I think i would’ve taken up sports a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago. Macam banar2 ku belajar main Squash..badminton ka…swimming kah.. even running for that matter. If i knew it was this enjoyable i would’ve taken it up in my early 20s. Ani mikin tua ani payah kan kurus. mcm sama lah payahnya mcm kan manjangkan rambut after a really horrible haircut. lol.

yawn.

d pox jump over d lazy dox…fox u

how’s everybody?

I’m afraid i’ve fallen off the ‘get fit – lose weight’ bandwagon again. Although i’m not so sure. I’m actually very confused to whether i am still on or i’m off. That piece of chocolate i just had just made the gray area even grayer. It never used to be this difficult. I started my weight loss journey in January. Normally, the YOUNGER version of me wud be at least 5kgs lighter by now. I think i’ve only lost about 3 and I gained it all back last week when i caved into my pms slumber. it was so good though.

It could also be that I am just getting bored with Bikram. I mean.. it does get very routine and it’s not like there’s a personal trainer to guide you through the postures, so sometimes in class you’re more than welcome to cheat. when i feel like i don’t want to work hard i’d move all the way to the back of the class to tell my body to take it easy. Anyway, I haven’t given up on myself yet. I’ve hired a personal trainer to get me back on track.

other than that, i havent got much else going on. just struggling to stay away from chocolates and online shopping.

funny story. well it’s funny now. not so much when it happend (STORY OF MY LIFE BTW LOL)

so i was in search for the winter jacket or coat of my dreams. sometime in october last year i came across a fur gilet from Yves Salomon. it was everything that i ever wanted but i absolutely couldn’t afford the 800euros price tag so i told myself ill keep an eye out for it during the winter sales. which by the way, came and went and the next thing i knew the gilet was sold out (even wayyyy before the sale). so those who know me know that once i have my heart on something, i rarely give up easily. so i searched the web for the gilet like a lost family member and traced it to a UK based site who despite the winter sale were selling them for 900 POUNDS. So i told myself, again, ok la. nda papa. i’ll wait for the sales. Everyday after that i religiously followed the coat like a cult clicking on the website.. every frickin hour.

A few weeks later my heart skipped when i got an alert in my mail telling me that the price has dropped to 300 pounds. So naturally i ran to my wallet to get my credit card an attempted to make a purchase online……….which to my disheartenment did not go through because my bank thought it was a fraud site. when i finally managed to sort it out with my bank, the jacket was SOLD OUT. AGAIN. i was like ok lah i said to myself ‘maybe it’s not meant to be……’ but at the same time didn’t waste ANY time making another search for the item – which led me back to the original site that i originally had seen it on……. and to my surprise it was back in stock and was still going for 800euros. So ok after quickly playing out the justifications in my head:

1. because its winter.
2. inshallah ill be here for at least 2 more winters.
3. it’s a statement/classic piece.
4.it’s fucking yves salomon

i bought it!

2 days later it arrived on my desk.

My colleague happened to barge in to my room as i was opening my package and he asked me what it was.. and i was like..dengan BANGGANYA.. ku BAGITAU ‘JEKET BULU BULUANZZZZZ, KELAAAAASSSSSS’. Skali ia tanya ‘ Bulu apa?’ …dengan bangganya ku lagi ckp ‘BULU RACOON SAMA PPPPPOXXXX (fox)’. the moment ‘fox’ escaped my lips.. i froze… my colleague went silent as if trying to process something. and suddenly, the same light bulb switched on over our heads… “Ji..” i said in a slow voice… “POX ani…bukan….kuyuk kah….. ”

my colleague, after thinking about it for awhile and what came out like a whisper replied, ‘aku pun baru teclick….awu…’

skalinya…. KIAMAT…

nda lah..haha Skalinya..teduduk ku sekajap menganangkan nasib ku. I have been eyeing the item since october..and in all those months i was waiting to get it i KNEW it was made of FOX FUR but for some reason.. it’s religious sensitivities never resonated. It was only when i opened the box in front of my colleague that i realise… yang pox ani is actually family of d dox. I’ve consulted several other people on the subject and they all had differing views.

Acknowledging the gray area that surrounds it, i decided to let it go :( huhuhu. mcm imagine ku be gilet gilet fox..tapi pakai tudong. hahaha. i mean i may as well be carrying a pig for a backpack. sigh. when it’s not meant to be it’s not meant to be. 10 days later.. I got my refund..all of it.. thank god! and i’m just going to save the money for a rainy day. i think someone up there is trying to teach me a lesson not to splurge on nonsense.

tapi ada jua baiknya i didnt get it off that UK website cause otherwise i wouldnt be able to return it. baik jua i was prepared to pay full price. lol.

yves salomon tah ku lagi.. SALMON tia karang. hahahaha.

membali baju sajuk seri gala saja ku…..

hahahahaha seri gala…lagi tia..big dox.

tekanang tah ku kan nini girl ku masa kami cuti ke Brisbane. she was at Cotton On going through a pile of tshirts to get for my Bushu.. when she suddenly turned to one of my cousins and pointed to the word FOXY on a shirt.. and asked her ‘Lai, kan membalikan baju untuk bushu mu.. apa nya ni lai?.. FUCK YOU?’ bless her.

next on my list..

ani buleh. ani MINXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. 8000euro harganya dang…makaseh. no monies.

but in truth, i shouldnt want to wear real fur. But i dont understand the logic of paying the same amount for faux fur. Stella Mccartney does them in faux and i also know that the designer avoids using leather at all costs. tapi harganya mcm original materials.

baik kamu check sebelum membali.

ori inda ori one thing..tapi kalau ori tapi fox atu pun……………………………………………….dot dot dot.

i was talking to May when the subject of ‘dot dot dot’ came up..

‘Perempuan, Isteri dan …’ lol and May was saying, mau kan jadi controversial tapi JALANG/PELACUR atu pun takut2 kan menyabut. lol. hahahaha. kalau ku ngucapkan urang pun bisai tu..

kau ani ah sudah tah ‘Bida… Ulah mu lagi mcm … DOT DOT DOT’.

rofl.

pox dox dan dot dot dot.

k bye