yuk belanja yuk

My vacuum stinks, so I pulled it apart last week and cleaned it out. Even after all the fuss, it still smells. I am now going through TikTok videos to see if there was a washable part that I may have missed cleaning. Turns out there’s one, a filter thing that sits on top of another filter thing. It’s not the main part of the vacuum, so I doubt that it’d solve anything, but I guess I’ll try to wash it later. If it still smells, then I’ll just have to fork out the 700 bucks that I don’t have and buy me a new one. NOT.

Haha, I’m just going to have to deal with the smell and maybe try putting some oils on cotton balls and stuffing them in the dust/sampah case.

Not really in the market for a new vacuum cleaner now. But who knows? I wasn’t in the market for a new suitcase the other week in Jakarta, but I came home with a spanking brand new one, ready for my work trip to Peru.

Babu’s been nagging how I need to buy a new luggage cause the current one that I have is just really old. To be honest, I had my concerns too. All throughout 2023, I was worried that the wheels of my suitcase would pop on one of my long haul flights.

Tapi aku pernah beli bag baru… tapi ruda nya pun tecabut jua so I was like hey it’s going to happen with an old or new bag – so whatever, I should have the muscle memory to drag it all across the airport. Haha.

So anyway, we were just walking aimlessly at one of the malls when Mom came across a luggage store. Skali ia suruh masuk to “liat liat” saja. Like a timid child wary of the salesperson, I hid behind her and kept on telling her that Indonesia’s not the place to get anything made internationally as the prices are inflated due to domestic taxes.

Skali ia cakap cani:

“Eh ok tu arah lain sama ni… u have to pay for hotel lagi tickets lagi..it works out the same!”

Yeah, she babu mathed me into saying YES TO THE BAG.

Handal ia bejual. Sampai ani nda ku mau meliat brapa harganya bag atu di Europe ataupun di Singapore.

K bye.

PS: Just looked up the prices on the website..I overpaid 400 bucks for it. The babu math is not mathing!

2024 is the year.

I was told to go on the blog to make an announcement.

I can’t believe he (didn’t) proposed!

So the whole of December he kept on asking me what i wanted as hantaran. To those who are unfamiliar hantaran.. it is…. nadabah eksenku…malas ku ingau kan explain hahahahaaha as if my readers are white… as if i have readers lol

Anyway, all through out the month of December last year, he sent me pictures of telkong, tikar sembahyang and kept on asking me “eh sayang..kalau ani u mau kah ..ani u mau? mana satu u mau? ani ” and i’d be like yeah sure whatever, mcm kenapa kan ia betanya ani nada jua ada yang menconfirmkan date nya. So we kept on going back and forth – more like me just listening to him talk about what he wanted to get me.

And then one day, out of the blue ..as if thinking out loud he said to me “ok how about i go home sometime in June, and we plan out our wedding” followed by “…..and then when that’s settled i’lll go back to London and then come home again in August so that we can have the wedding!” – he said this like it was the best idea in the world mcm he invented auto-tune.

Complicated eh ya bepikir ah mcm Einstein mikirkan cemana membaca doa makan.

First, i was annoyed and then proceeded to ask him what sort of “extravagant celebration of love” he wanted to have – my exact words were “You kan mau 10 hari 10 malam kah yang u kan ke brunei dulu memplan ani?”

Skali it just turns out he wasn’t sure how things worked in Brunei. Mind you he hasn’t been home for 18 years so he’s quite out of touch with how things work here (his words) oh and also, i dont think he’s had any experience with a wedding haha so kali dalam kepala nya kali mcm catering , venue , baju ani mesti diaga kekadai kali. lol. imam sama pengangun pun mesti diaga dirumahnya..dikatok pintunya. mun ia nada, bisuk lusa lagi mencuba. dont give up sis.

So i told him. Give me a date, and we’ll book the venue over EMAIL and go from there..and he agreed.

So as of today, the venue’s booked and i’ve sent my measurements to the tailor (via whatsapp).

So… I guess this means i’m getting married?

Some people have asked me how he proposed. Which i thought was quite superficial.I simply loved how we both came to the realisation that we were both going to kawin. Thing is, It has always come up in our conversations so it wasn’t a matter of if but rather when.

At 38 years old and him, 42, a proposal just isn’t necessary. same goes to an elaborate wedding. we just want a small intimate “thing”. lain lah kalau ku kawin umurku 25 tahun.. i think i would’ve insisted on a relative to kipak me to the pelamin pebaik tah ku 100kg , have a ceremonial feet soak and invite all of the people i’m friends with on facebook.

The 25 y.o me would’ve been a people’s pleaser and would have wanted something loud and obnoxious. However, with age, our priorities have evolved, and now, a modest and close-knit celebration is what holds significance for us.

anyway, this old bride has five more months to get snatched. time to start running again. tidur ku pun bekasut sport ni.

on a more serious note..

i cant wait to be married to my teenage crush.

i love you.


my boyfriend pointed out that i havent blogged for a while.

“for a while” being the last time was in October 22.

I’ve lost my touch. I’ve postponed writing for too long that i cannot remember what i originally intended to write about. Most days, Something funny will come up and i would make a mental note to write about it later – which i never do. So i’m trying to recall them as i type.


So i was at Whole Foods the other day and brought home with me a bottle of Momofoku chilli crunch oil. A victorious loot considering there was absolutely nothing else for me to buy.

It was just shelves upon shelves upon shelves of the usual san-gluten, non-gmo , no-sugar added food stuffs.. so i got the chilli oil and small plastic container of Gouda.

That night i discovered that the crunchy bits in Gouda cheese were actually tiny white crystals that forms on the cheese as it ages. delicious. The chilli oil was enjoyable, but i thought it was a tad overpriced huhu.. but this didn’t stop me from getting curious about their entire line of instant noodles which i excitedly grabbed on my next grocery trip.

I bought all 3 flavours. I didn’t realise how pricey they were until i checked out. I spent almost USD40 (w tax) on just the instant noodles. As i walked out of the store, pockets burning, i convinced myself that it was going to be worth it…….

oh boy i can’t be anymore wrong in my whole life.

they tasted like…..a waste of money and luggage space. i thought they were mediocre at best and i decided to offload some to my Singaporean colleague and explained to her that the instant noodles were like a “blank canvas” and that it’s meant to put her cooking skills into good use. Dude, it had to come with a disclaimer if i wanted to waste HER luggage space. lol. Sorry Vonnie. If Maggi say Maggi right? lolol.

I wasted no time telling the boyfriend about the incident. In an attempt to justify my purchase, i told him that it was supposed to be “gourmet”. His response was:

“How can INSTANT NOODLES be gourmet?”

ouph. 1-0. kau manang kali ani geng.

1 point for boypren.
100 points for american marketing.

-101 points for siti

ok gonna scour the internet for copper canele moulds now. i saw shopee was selling 1 for $65 ringgit malaysia. huhuhuhu.


POV: 90s kid complaining.

it’s been a rather challenging two years. saw a post on instagram on how the ministry of health has acknowledged that covid had an impact on mental health. thanks…? i guess?

yes it has implicated our well-being..soo….what are we going to do about it?

so here’s my humble suggestion(s)..

(ani bagi org yang bekeraja ni ah)

other than things that we can do for ourselves (like meditation, regular exercise, spritual worship, eating healthily..sleeping early and the list goes on) i think more can be done at the policy level.. like

granting a two day weekend, for HR to actually perform HR tasks..like actually taking care of personnel.. actually (sorry actually lagi skali) making sure that they take their leave .. and ACTUALLY (nah lagi sekali) ensuring that they don’t go beyond working hours or.. to compensate their time accordingly. m

i think there’s stigma surrounding public sector employees ani.. kana ucapkan malas..slalu keluar time keraja.. nada productivity..nada output..

maybe cos the good ones ..leave? so you’re left with the bad apples?

but i can assure you.. not all are like this.

this is sebenarnya and actuallynya (nah lagi skali ku memakai actually ani) an old way of thinking and its high time that the public sector is detached from this image. maybe if there’s no productivity in a particular area, one needs to look at something else closely other than zooming in on the personal shortcomings of employees kan?

anyway, i think these steps are low hanging fruits sebenarnya.. i dont think it would cost anyone anything…

ntah ah for some reason this sort of care isn’t extended to the public sector. maybe because the public sector has been painted as a shrine of privilege and those who have been ‘chosen’ to walk this path shouldn’t be complaining.

huh..a gen z wouldn’t be this kind (ive seen rather terrifying scary reddit posts an institution’s worst nightmare).

ive been “holding” it in for 12 years that it’s causing me bladder problems lol

yes i am grateful for the job and the opportunities. esp in this environment where unemployment is at its highest. besyukur ku banar. it’s not an issue of us not being grateful sebenarnya but it would be nice to be “appreciated” although from over a decade of observation, i figured out that this isn’t part of the public sector culture. i mean not to say that it’s non existent.. ada plang yg dpt pingat..tp what about the unsung heroes yang nda visible tapi slama ani membuat keraja jua?

being appreciated can also include being able to easily access the things that we are “entitled” to in the first place….mcm cuti? . And maybe opportunities for (automatic) promotion after a decade of service would be nice too. a promotion at my level is tied up to a requirement to pass an exam that is totally unrelated to my field of expertise ..which really sucks and sort of unfair. but hey if i can’t have the latter.. pls just take care of my well being a liiiiittle bit better? no system is perfect kan? but there’s always room for improvement.

mental health is wealth and happy employees do a better job.


ok bye.

day 2 of quantico

more bitching about priyanka chopra. more loud hammering and drilling. more stress. i called up front desk again to complain and agreed to move rooms on the condition that:

1. they waive the fee of my stay for last 3 nights and;
2. i report my experience to the authorities.

there was a pause followed by a long sigh of “OhhhHHhhh….”

I told them, im ok with the faint drilling and hammering. ive been putting up with it the whole day and yesterday. but the noise got louder in the afternoon. i said to frontdesk that if they were able to reason with the workers yesterday, y cnt they work their magic again today. bertolak ansur tah tani please. thank you.

moments later front desk called again to inform that they will stop their renovation works for now and will continue at 4pm.. for 45minutes and that will be it for the rest of the week. i said ok. it’s close to 5pm now and i havent heard any heavy drilling from the next room.. lets hope everything is over and done with.

am i the drama? i dont think im the drama. am i the villian? i don think im the villian. lol.


things r ok….. for now.

My pcr test is on the 21st..hopefully it will be a next-day release.

Quarantine bukan Quantico.

I’ve been very toxic in quarantine. seorang orang pun buleh toxic. lol. Been binging on youtube videos of Priyanka Chopra and making over the top cringing faces everytime she speaks. I also go “inda jua berapa!” everytime she tries to sound intelligent. lol. this on repeat 100x.

100x x 7 hari.. i’ll come out of here highly toxic and severely irritating. lol. whoever’s greeting me when i come out, sediakan saja PPE ..and maybe a taser. lol.

ok so that’s half of the time. the rest of the time i spend productively scrolling through funny cat videos and reposting it on my stories…..this and calling front desk to tell off whoever that is at the receiving end.

story time.

My previous room didn’t have hot water. having travelled for over 24hrs the only thing that you look forward to is a hot shower and rest. unfortunately for me this came as “delayed gratification”, that i didnt even want. lol. maintenance weren’t able to resolve it so they moved me to another room. this time, everything worked but the fridge. which was another problem cause my partner had sent me home with macarons to give as gifts.. which needed refrigeration. i also needed it to store fresh milk for my coffee in the mornings. so i needed the fridge. luckily the maintenance guy, Abdul Wahid (a very hard worker) was able to swap it with a working fridge from an unoccupied room next door. Side note: i wouldve tipped him but i didn’t have any on me. Self reminder: Dont forget to get someone to bring you cash to tip Abdul Wahid on your way out*

so anyway. after a very long day i managed to catch up with sleep.. only to be woken up by loud drilling and hammering. it sounded like it literally came from next door..mcm ada urang membuat rumah kayu 3 tingkat bah sebalah ani. so i called up front desk, almost screaming. they offered to move me again. that’s when i decided to draw the line. i told them angrily that i cannot move again..cos this should be a quarantine. they’ve already moved me once already kan gila jua tu. i could be infectious (not that i am, inshallah, but just saying that i could be) they relented and told me they’ll have a word with the people doing the construction.

the noise is not 100% gone pulang ada lah i can hear some faint drilling here and there but i guess it was better than what i woke up to this morning. I did call front desk balik and apologised for raising my voice……no i didnt. i upped my im-sorry-game and apologised for being a BITCH. the lady just laughed and was understanding. i just told them that i’m just really really really exhausted.

I’m not sure when my quarantine ends. hopefully ill only stay for max 7 days. I have not called front desk to ask them when im due for a pcr test. haha isuk tah telipun….. rehatkan tia dulu kali..inda kan melayan aku saja. lol. im sure they have other shit to sort out.

that was day 1 of quarantine.

i shudve gone with Radisson.. things went very smoothly when i was quarantined there after a work trip. but i can’t afford that shit. lol. at least this hotel is clean and spacious. i just need to remind myself to lower my expectations.

ok bye.

March-ing orders.

First-quarter of the year almost done and dusted. It’s back to the routine of endless meetings, interrupted sleep and losing track of time: what day is it? *frantically looks at the calendar* it’s Thursday (and you have a meeting scheduled at 7pm). For two weeks on end, my “me-time” is replaced with virtual meetings that seem to drag on for eternity. The only pro to these meetings is that I can rock up in a sharp blazer over a crisp white shirt, paired with my favourite leggings or shorts – and NO ONE WILL KNOW.

“Power dressing” tia banar.. more like “inda tekain kain”. haha.

In small doses, these meetings can be quite enjoyable sebenarnya. The interactions can be quite stimulating and I always look forward to the “dynamic” that the super powers bring to the table. After all these years, i still chuckle to myself when participants “Thank the Chair for giving them the floor” (macam di Court Furniture saja) followed by a series of phrases or idioms that people get wrong , which mind you, no one dares to correct. My favourite is still “MY BALLS are in YOUR court” *said with conviction of a sitau gaban* .

I guess with the pandemic restrictions still in place, this is really how my life will be looking like for the rest of the year. Sama saja macam last year. To be honest, I’m not sure what to make of that. I’ve started getting vivid dreams of buying Angus steak at a foreign grocery store and getting caught by MORA officials for it. hahaha.

But as usual, you must remember to be grateful.

I’ve ran out of things to do, people to see that my nights are now replaced with minyak kapak and a booster gun and an endless supply of Tiktok videos. These days, I get sore from something as low impact as hot yoga. I believe this is also called, ageing. I’ve stopped lifting weights for the time being (or as my Oz friend would refer to as “lifting TINS at the gym” LOL) cause honestly, even if it makes my body look a little bit better, i can’t say i enjoy it as much. It’s also such a narcissistic sport and i prefer being outside running in the sun – alone. Some long runs i do enjoy with people but most runs i like to start and finish on my own, at my own pace and my own time. My way or the highway 😛

I had a friend who recently had reached out to me cause he said he was feeling unmotivated and that he has gained 15kgs since December. I was so disappointed cause he was doing sooooo well 🙁 . The main reason: he didn’t have anyone to run/workout with. I have a feeling he fell-out from his group of “friends”. That’s the thing with a group friends especially those who you only see on a social basis and you have not had the chance to bond with properly or for some reason’t just cant.It’s usually temporary and one shouldn’t depend on them for anything especially when you’re trying to achieve something. It’s also very rare that a group of people would be genuinely interested in your success. This and also people come and go. In which case, if you have a goal, better to do it alone.

Motivation must always come from within. The people who cheer you on are good to have but are also optional.

You are your own best friend. You. Beautiful you.

Anyway, another crazy week at work. I wish i can fast-forward to next Sunday. But by the draw of the luck* , it is what it is..so help me gawwwwwd. I’m still setting mini goals for myself and this week it will be to:

– drink lots and lots of water.
– NP (at least ONE).
– morning 10 minute Calm app meditation (cause i paid alot for this)
– get at least four runs in (ive recovered from my injury)
– two hot yoga sessions.
– slow down on the coklet and sweets.

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kiss me.

*Hahahaha i get it wrong too. it’s “the luck of the draw” hahaha