I am a loyal. to a fault.

and if I am loyal to you, I expect it back.

loyalty is the things you do when im not around, how you speak about me.. what you allow other people to say about me.Whether I still matter when the company you’re in makes it inconvenient to stand by me.

Lately ive been thinking about the difference between being someone people confide in and being someone they actually consider. you can be trusted with all their frustrations, listen to everything that has upset them, and still find yourself wondering where you fit once things are going well again.

It is an odd feeling.. like being close enough for the difficult conversations yet somehow peripheral to the easier moments.

but yeah, I don’t need to be included in everything. Orang2 ani have other friendships, other relationships, whole parts of their lives that have nothing to do with me. I understand that. But when someone calls you a friend, you hope that friendship carries some weight beyond the moments when they need a sympathetic ear.

And to those who have stood up for me when I wasn’t there to defend myself: thank you. It means more to me than you know.

kiss me.