so puasa came..and went. raya’s practically over now that i have started work again. but its ok. i think i made the most out of ramadhan and raya this year. i caught up with my running and i think i’m the fittest that i’ve been since the start of last year. i just realised how much i love being outside. i enjoy watching sunsets at a pace of 8km/h. Sunsets in Brunei are not to be missed. even when its hot and it feels like a hairdryer outside, one should never take the blue bruneian skies for granted.

ive to come to realise this raya that it’s the little things that matter. i’m at my happiest when i’m at home. it’s a good thing that i live in a full house ..although it can get pretty quiet… but most times there’s just so many things going on that i dont know where or how to start documenting it..

haha like the other night as i was going to bed, i could hear my dad replaying what could be a video of him belting out to Ismail Marzuki’s Rindu Lukisan over and over and over and over and over and over to the point that i fell asleep.. half annoyed at my dad’s narcissistic side.. half of me also felt secure knowing that my dad is still up to protect the house and family from any harm.

And then there’s the happy giggles and cries of baby Safa – my one year old niece, whose presence has only made the house an even more better place to live in.

In the afternoons or sometimes even in the middle of the night there’s always at least ONE family member including myself or BAPA calling for Bane (the house cat, we have TWO) to come home. Pepinot (the other cat) every now and then would also kick up a fuss if Bane’s away from the house for too long..at this point Pep would start meowing AT ME to call on Bane to come home..and i would immediately obey.

Every Sundays from 2-4pm there would be continuos ringing of the door bell for Brownie o’clock thats when we have people coming over to collect their chocolate fix. I also love it when my siblings come together to sing on the piano or the guitar and the laughter that would follow from the jokes and make fun that we throw at each other. It’s also a wonderful thing that we live near the mosque and i find comfort in the calls of prayer through out the day.

one of the most valuable lessons that i’ve discovered in the last couple of months..is that one must truly know how to laugh at themselves BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE. it doesn’t only make you realise that you are not any better than anyone else..but at some point..i believe that it does help with things like….self confidence..some say, you only grow up when you have your first real laugh – at yourself! haha so yeah happy belated birthday to me 🙂

this is going to be the LAST YEAR of my twenties *gasp* Note to self: find a husband.

work is back on full gear. i can only hope that i don’t fall off this happy bandwagon that i’m currently riding. i must for the life of me..learn to multi-task efficiently. i must find that elusive work-life balance that people are constantly promoting.

so before i start ranting about work.. i should stop at this happy place and i would like to wish my readers.. whoever you are, i hope it’s not too late for me to wish you a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin, i doa for you all the peace and happiness in this whole wide world and akhirat.

kiss me.

its 3am. and i have to wake up at 7am tomorrow. technically, its today.

There’s an in-house meeting that starts at 8:30 am that we are coordinating. The first two days of puasa has been somewhat easy, given the fact that it was a long weekend. the REAL puasa starts tomorrow..i mean TODAY

I have no idea how i’m going to survive today. it would be the first time in NEVER that i turn up to the office without an ounce of caffeine in my body. it doesn’t help that we have a centralized air conditioning system at work..which means that i will TRY not to freeze to death.

this is how i would usually get when im at the office during the fasting month:-
1. my fingers would start turning a pale shade of blue.
2. followed by the shaking of the body.
3. and then i become sleepy.
4. so sleepy.

repeat 30 hari.

(skali baik jua inda jadi Ais di opis atu. haha. kalau bagi perisa stoberi.. jadi AISkrim Stoberi…)

——

but yeah that’s on a good day. on a bad day.. i just want to kill someone. true story.

puasa is usually the time when i realize that i should have slowly weaned myself off coffee…but as usual, i never learn.

but then again, what is puasa without all of its challenges kan?

*skajap aku bedoa dulu..*

i seek your strength and guidance to last me through this holy month …and i want the same to be extended to all my family and friends.

*amin*.

its 3.

great. only 4 hours till i have to wake up.

sighhhhhh.

Hi dolls.

im bored bordering on depressed. siok ni begaru sampai tutup tutup mata. haha. pakai garpu. haha how gross.

i really have nothing to say. apart from the fact that i am having instagram withdrawals. my mobile line’s not working here. and the wifi access we have at the hotel doesn’t support instagram. ive been here close to a week and aside from getting facebook notifications on my mobile (which i can’t access – such a tease kan?) ..i have been deduced to only whatsapp as a way of connecting with the outside world.

i cannot imagine having to live with the internet here. i cannot imagine life with restricted internet access. imagine getting a blocked message everytime you enter a search for something as insignificant as “Strawberry cream filled profiteroles”…how contentious can a strawberry profiterole be..mcm its like living in the y2k2 ages. haha i mean y2k. (hahaha y2k2..haha ingat YMRM? lol) only with fast internet but limited access to information.

you wouldn’t think something like this would have a huge impact on your life until you experience it first hand. i am all for freedom of the internet.

lol apparently losing instagram was enough to turn me into an activist.

3 more days.

i cannot wait to catch up with jimmy fallon on youtube.

Planning a trip to see the Hassans in June. The heart really wants to go back to Melbourne, but i cannot afford the calories at the moment. So i decided on a 3-day trip to see some of my best friends in this whole wide world in KL city #havoc. It’s about time too.

Aside from ‘bumping’ in to them on my work trips every now and then (the company they work for sends them overseas frequently), i dont think ive spent any quality time with them after leaving melbourne for good …6 years ago. eh. actually. actually nya. actually so..haha (actually so tia lagi)…actually THIS (haha) i have la. what am i talking about. i did paid them a visit a few times when they were still in melbourne..lol. just not recently. haha.

ive just texted Nawa and asked her to take me to Fatty Crab. Not that i have ever been, but i know it’s the most frequented restaurant by bruneians for chicken wings and crabs…on INSTAGRAM. im a sucker for instagram updates of food. exsp the ones that roll in at around midnight. thats how i know the americans are up. lol. out of the 800 people i’m following, 400 of them are random foodies.

if only my life was ALL about food..and travelling ah? oh and family and friends. my soul would really like that.

bangun pagi jalan jalan belayar belayar makan makan..blogging blogging. skali kana bayar. skali kana bayar, org minta advert, kana bayar. org minta taruh gambar arah instagram bayar.. org suruh dtg event…bayar. org minta bayar..kana bayarkan.. atu baratah #FUNEMPLOYED #FUNEMPALOI #MEMALOI

oh loves it. maybe i shud go on a sabbatical and get it out of my system ah. haha

siok jua tu mcm hari hari hari hari angan angan… angan angan time bfast..angan angan time lunch..angan angan time dinner skali tidur…bangun..skali angan angan lagi time driving..hahaha skali kana hon..skali drive lagi sikit..skali ada traffic light merah..angan angan lagi.

wah syazwana, you are VERY LAH AMBITIOUS.

#siok

oh what a life that would be.

i think i finally know what i want to be when i grow up.. i want to be a prettier version of ranoadidas and own a chain of brownieterie/croissanterie/coffee shops in Serusop but i will settle for just ONE hehe. but first i have to learn how to make croissants. lol. and roll my french ‘Rs’ properly. so that i can teach the whole of brunei how to pronounce croissant properly.

oh. just a (french)(Rrrr)omantic idea that i have. but hey. anything’s possible.

anyway.

yeah. i think i should take that holiday. i only hesitated because of the plane ride. the thought of having to go on a plane FOR a holiday shits me. im sick of travelling for hours in ‘le kelas de kambing.’ sakit badan bah. sama its dirty. just the thought of having to take a plane home irks me now.

oh what to do. baik lagi dpt mampu masih holiday belayar. inda ja inda ja. #besyukur #alhamdulillah #semogatuhanmemurahkanrezeki #amin

bah aku booking ticket dulu. eps. ticket booking. cuti lagi balum approve. hahahahahah i didn’t really hesitated because of the plane ride..i hesitated pasal cuti balum approve. mengisi borang pun balum. hahaha

mana tia borang ani.

kiss me.

i initially wanted to share with the world what happened to me last weekend. but i decided not to. hence the one liner in the last post. shit happens. you just learn to deal with it.

it’s almost the end of march. work is piling up by the day. but i’m telling myself to take everyday in stride. whining is for losers. one should not whine too much if they want to succeed in this world. so ive decided that from now onwards, im going to do a little less whining and a little more of happiness. although, a few bursts of rants every now and then could be considered as healthy.

this is the new me. no more whining. just doing.

i have also decided to omit all unnecessary noise from my life. i realised i have enough drama to last me a life time.

i will also try to talk to god more often.

im turning 30 in less than two years.

some things have got to change.

and i will start from me.

never.take.anything.for.granted.

terima kasih.

kiss me.

payah jua kan kurus ani..sanang lagi bangun tidur kan keraja, on a MONDAY.

urgh. totes hating the fact that i’m back to square one. i’m always back to square one and i don’t even know what the heck a square one is. but i know that it refers to starting bloody facking all over again, all the time, all day every day, all year..all my life.

aku awal ani di china.

my first time di china. awal ani jua aku makan toble-tze. atau nama sebenar, toblerone. atau nama umum, coklet. pasal apa ia toble-tze. pasal ia di cina. tapi sebenarnya, inda, namanya masih jua TOBLERONE (of Switzerland).. tp pasalnya aku kan becali, ku cinakan lah jua, jadi toble-tze.

i am procrastinating from work. sometimes i feel like i’m back in uni again. trying to find new ways to procrastinate. after today’s meeting, i’ve slept. i’ve gone to the gym. i’ve spent a good amount of time on the youtube-less and facebook-less internet , ive had my dose of toble-tze and now i find myself with nothing else to do but to start on my long ass report on how to make the world a better place.

xoxo-tze.

ok..maybe not yet.

aku mau lawa. mcm #bclsinclair hahahaha bcl sinclair tia lagi. thats bunga cinta lestari for those who are unacquainted with Indonesia’s celebrity scene. she’s looking so good these days, better than she did before. i honestly think, that women, like men do and can get more beautiful with age. bukan laki2 saja yang mikin tua mikin handsome. ive seen plenty of women who are hotter now than they ever did their whole lives – even after marriage and a handful of babies.

ok.

thats all.

bye.

at changi.

bored to death.

ive been here since 3pm. flight home isn’t until 9. it is now 7. ive just about stalked every single kardashian (and friends) on instagram. bought just about every food magazine i could find at the book store and i’ve said hello to giant goldfish.

now i am going to blog and i plan an angry changi selfie afterwards before starting on the $200 worth of books and magazines i just bought out of freaking boredom. i hate being stuck at airports for long periods of time. exsp Changi. one time, i flew out of here with a pair of $500 dollar-shades that i’ve never once worn in the sun. then again, if you have to be stuck at an airport for long periods of time, changi would be the place to be. i cannot imagine getting stuck for hours at the airport in Bandung. id probably fly home with a bag-full of keropok belinjau and dodol. well. if you think about it that way… it won’t be so bad kali hahaa exsp on your wallet.

big sigh.

im sleep deprived. thank god im going home to a Sunday at least i can sleep all day tomorrow. unless my ZZ-quil induced sleep fails me. then i would have to spend the day contemplating about my life on a Monday. i think it’s time for that 2 day weekend that i keep on talking about. #brunei. hear me out.

sleepy.

so sleeepy.

sleeeepy.

im currently at the laptop station. laptop charging. phone charging. i think i might just tidur until it’s time to board the plane.

ill see you in a couple of hours brunei.

it sucks the life out of me just to keep up with these relationships.

its fucking tiring.