I am currently en-route to Lima. The last stretch of meetings this year. Whaddayaknow it’s November. It’s been a long bumpy ride and I can’t wait to get it done and over with. Through out the year I’ve had a mix of successes and failures. I won some and then lost some. Many personal wins, but work wise, i am burnt out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I’d usually be burnt out towards the end of the year, right after all the meetings, but this year it came early. I didn’t even have time to recover before i had to travel again. (I\u2019m not humblebragging ni ah.. just putting out a caveat\u2026 huhu I\u2019ve been following Vivy Yusof\u2019s fall from grace and honestly it\u2019s terrifying. It\u2019s a reminder\u2014if you have money or have made it in life, jangan tah show off, just shut the fuck up and fuck off with your millions.Matt and I we share this joke based on a mem on ig “if i have money, i will not say anything but there will be signs\u201d<\/em>\u2014like topping up your car battery water with Fiji)<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n …the cabin crew just came over with tea and cake and a serviette with a blue windmill stamped on it. I always dread taking KLM flights cause of the lack of leg space but today im on one of those lucky flights where no one’s sitting in the middle. so i have ample room to wiggle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n yum its dutch apple cake<\/em>!<\/p>\n\n\n\n aku ani ada adhd kali sebenarnya. i should get it diagnosed. ariatu lupa ku tanya therapist ku. i did ask him if i was bipolar. i asked him this cause i was going through a tough time at work jua… being the self-aware person that i am could feel mcm i was having mood swings bah. i couldnt get up for work, i hated the drive to work..mcm this feeling of dread would come and go and for a moment there i really thought i should have it checked out. skali baik jua nada papa..when i asked him if i was bipolar he looked at me quizzically and flipped through his notes (takut ku sudah) and reassured me, “syazwana, u dont. your feelings are validated, you are going through a tough time”. i was like THANK FUCKING GOD. now i just need have that health scan scheduled… heh.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n oh and of course, ill remind to bring up adhd the next time im in therapy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n anyway, back to what i was saying long hours, tight deadlines, and projects that felt like i am jumping through hoops of fire. My colleague and I took it all in stride. We adapted and delivered. And yet, as the December trip approaches, we\u2019ll find ourselves on the sidelines watching the plane take off without us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ultimately i have to remind myself that I am more than that trip that i was really looking forward to at the end of the year..recognition isn\u2019t always about where we\u2019re seated or which room we\u2019re in. I shouldn’t give people the power to invalidate my achievements.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So now, the game plan for the next 10 days is not to let anxiety take over and control what you can control – in this case, i’m going to give this last assignment my best. it is not to overshine anyone, god no – but i’m doing it for me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n *makan kopiko 10 biji* <\/p>\n\n\n\n kiss me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I am currently en-route to Lima. The last stretch of meetings this year. Whaddayaknow it’s November. It’s been a long bumpy ride and I can’t wait to get it done and over with. Through out the year I’ve had a mix of successes and failures. I won some and then lost some. Many personal wins, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dailies"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sasmonroe.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5592","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sasmonroe.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sasmonroe.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sasmonroe.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sasmonroe.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5592"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.sasmonroe.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5592\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5635,"href":"https:\/\/www.sasmonroe.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5592\/revisions\/5635"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sasmonroe.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5592"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sasmonroe.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5592"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sasmonroe.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5592"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}