Yo moma jokes could be funny.. in moderation. lol. I still have Yo Momma Jokes ringing in my head from watching lastnite’s episode of YO MOMMA on MTV; YO Momma’s so lazy that when she breast feeds you..she breast feeds you through a straw.. LOL. the most funny one has got to be.. YO MOMMA’S SO CHEAP..THAT SHE GOT MARRIED FOR THE RICE. LOL. Gila banar jua eh.

Thanks to Kamy, im done with this week’s grocery shopping. Drove down to Sydney road to get Halal Meat then Safeway to get some stuff for the pantry.

Non DH and Prisonbreak fans..STOP HERE..

Currently downloading last Sunday’s episode of Desperate Housewives. They had a massive episode a weekend ago where Lanette and a few others were held hostage by a psycho housewife, whose husband cheated on her. CRAZY. Lanette got shot. Along with a few others..but she didn’t die though. Thank god cause what is Desperate housewives withou Lanette!! She’s probably the only wife,the story, im interested in the rest are shit and I HATE HATE HATE TERI HATCHER I HATE HER. EVEN IN SUPERMAN I HATE HER she’s just so annoying to look at. Anyways,yatah tu. moral of the story. husbands. please. dont. cheat. nanti. kena. tembak.pakai.senapang.gajah!!!! Berani jua laki laki ani kdg kdg. In the words of my Nini Boy: “Fool! Bladisapul!”. (Fool Bloody’s FOOL!!!)

On another note,I’m also looking forward to watch this week’s episode of Prison Break. Last week Sarah bailed on what’s his face.. mm.. Schofield leaving him a note that said something along the lines of “Now, i know better.” My response to this would be:-

FUCK OFF.

Kan. I never liked that Sarah girl. If i had it my way, i would’ve shot her right from the very beginning of the series. Anyway. At the end of last week’s episode Sarah was walking back to her..car (leaving schofield behing in a motel in Gila) when that bad ass “FBI” agent, Kellerman caught her. Ok. As for now I can only 1. assume that she’s going to be tortured by the agent to get the information that they need to find schofiled.. 2. HOPE that she would be shot dead.

Well actually. after reading this SCRIPT which i found here. hehehe.. I KNOW that Sarah would be tortured – WITH AN IRON by Kellerman. huhuhuhuhu. Ya. So i’ve kind of spoiled it for myself.. a little bit. hehehe.

But can i help it kah if THE INTERNET IS A WONDERFUL THING??? And WENTWORTH is the hottest man ALIVE????

indakan? nah.

OH. and one more thing. I cant believe this season of WEEDS have already ended. Bladisful banar. The finale got me at the edge of my seat!! What can the MILF do now??????

OK. Apart from sorting out my groceries.. i have to catch up with Last week’s America’s Next Top Model.. sama Project Runway.. sama.. i cant think now. But i know there was something else i have to watch. Anyways. Yes I agree with Mama Lobengs that Tyra should just get her own personality. I HATE HER TALK SHOW. Love her in ANTM..but her talk show is just plain shit. There are even times when the whole thing just gets AWKWARD and it shows that she’s not capable of handling such situations. Why can’t she just stick to modelling..FOREVER?? However,It’s nice to see her gaining weight.. well maybe thats why kali. She thinks she looks like OPRAH she could run a show like OPRAH… basar kali lagi oprah ah.. alum cukup cincangan tu si tyra ah lol.

but please. i think she should just stop the bloody show before i start hating her like i hate teri hatcher.

ok..i shall write to the board of..uh…i dont know.. hollywood?. now..lol. sorry for ranting. (ok. im at it again) i just cant help it when there’s a show as stupid as a the tyra bank’s show. i really can’t see the point of having your-every-day-plain-janes in the show to talk about stuff like.. “Ya..i broke up with him a year ago and it still hurts..” hello. like. get over it already. like. and this stupid tyra is only making things worse by HAVING THEM TALK ABOUT IT infront millions and millions of people. bodoh. bladispul. And all Tyra could say is “Aw… that’s so sad.. i think i’m tearing up a little bit”. LAME.

lol.eh. ok. this tv junkie is getting hungry.

eh bah. peas out. kan mamasak ku lagi lai..peas to the world. peas. peas. peas.

kiss me.

Just got back from Nawa’s. I just realised i left my keys over at her place. damn you goldfish memory.

I had my churros today along side the Mocha (ah..a bundle of joy!) that i’ve been craving for the whole week. Had Nawa drove me down to Brunswick Street to accompany me to San Churros. Spent the rest of the night at Nawa’s watching MTV. Shit. MTV has changed so much since it was first available in Brunei. It used to be all about backstreet boys, song dedications and Nadia Hutagalung. Now, its turning more in to a nightmare. Sure, shows like Yo Mamma and Sweet 16 and La viva la bam (?) are interesting to watch. But think of the impact of it would have on the younger generation. Do we want sixteen year olds finding happiness in slutty dresses and trashy make up kah? I’ve met enough of them to last me a lifetime sudah. The world sure does not need anymore.

Anyways. Wanda Sykes is HILARIOUS. She played the skunk in Over The Hedge and boy was she a funny skunk! I love her. “I’m going to gas you so hard your grandchildren will stink” says the skunk. lol.

I saw her on Ellen the other day and they were having this discussion on the new “The Bachelor” series. Ellen Degeneres was talking about this PRINCE who plays the bachelor in the upcoming series when Wanda threw in a really DUHHH question:- “Is he handsome?” Ellen’s reply to this was “Yes, of coure he is, he’s a prince!” (i found this funny pun considering the fact that Ellen Degeneres is GAY) Wanda then said:-

“Well.. with Prince Charles out there..you can’t be too sure now can you?” *looks knowingly in to the camera*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That got me rolling on the couch laughing.

love her love her love her. I tried looking her up on youtube but hardly any videos of her came up. boh-reng.

haha.. ok la..1.30.. waking up early to get meat tommorow. promised the girls Pandan Chicken for dinner.

kiss me.

Guys. This is hilarious. Another “Mabuk Lagi” , “Penasaran” & “Bang Toyib” in the making..

BANG SMS SIAPA INI BANG?
BANG PESANYA PAKAI SAYANG SAYANG?

AHAHAHAAH. SAKIT!!! ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL. Baru ya lagu pasal TEKNOLIJI. gigi jua banar eh.

kiss me.

Just came back from Kamy’s place. The mother and daughter team treated us to one of their home cooked speciality: Hainanese chicken rice. Always a favourite amongst us girls. Needless to say that we spent the whole day at their place binge eating,looking through fashion magazines, gossiping and ofcourse tuning in to Australian Idol.

Ahhhh..Just my kind of Sunday.

Kamy. Thanks batch!

lol. Who sei Paris Hilton is not Inspiring ha? hahaha.

loves it!

prohopa pohost tohomoro.

kiss me.

hehehe..

1. Reza – keabadian
2. Asti Asmodiwati – Satu Jam Saja ( So sad..)
3. Dua – Kau (loves it!)
4. Eka Deli – Rinduku dan Hasratku
5. Boyz II Men’s “Remedy” album
6. Ello – Kisah T’lah Usai
7. Rio Febrian – Lebih Baik Darinya
8. Sama lagu sedih korea.
9. Lagu korea sedih lagi satu.
10. Lagu korea paling sedih di dunia.

im soo outdated. the only thing new has got to be Boyz II Men’s album sama that Dua number ; Kau . If you havent heard it. Download it already! lawa. The rest..semua lagu lama. hahaha. Try downloading Satu Jam Saja no not the Audy version but Asti’s version.. lagu PMS please.

kau bisikkann kata.. cinta kepadaku~
setiap waktu~ Kau pastikan takkan tinggalkan ku selalu bersama…

mungkinkah kau mencintai diriku selamalamanya..
hingga maut memisahkan..
bukan hanya cinta yang sesaat trus menghilang bila hasrat tak usai..

gila. lawa si reza anie. huhuhu. ive always loved her and always will.

one more time for the road..in caps..

MUNGKINKAHHHHHH KAUUU MENCINTAIIIII DIRIKU SELAMAAAAAA LAMAAANYAAA
HINGGA MAUUUT MEMISAHKANNNNNNNNNNNNNN
BUKAN HANYAAA CINTAA YANG SESAAT TRUS MENGHILANGGGG BILAA HASRAT TAKK USAIIIIII

hahahahaha.
kiss me.

pfft.

*SIGH*

First day of Raya at Ujai’s

The sisters

Siti,Athirah,Mun & Kel

The beribi & jangsak connection.

The girls. Yes. Most of the Bruneians here are girls. huhuhu.

Ujai’s Speciality courtesy of Nasirah and Pia .. hehe my absolute favourite BELINJAU.
I was thinking to myself earlier in the day how it would be lovely if Babu had brought some Belinjau with her ariatu. Skali sudah malam atu; WOW BELINJOW!!!!!. What a treat. hehehe.

The girls. Posing Maut. ada yang mcm tekajut. huhuhu.

Congkak with Kamy. Australian style.
Kamy in her thick accent: Hey. You CheEeeat! you cheeeeating me you WANKA!!!

HAHAHA KAMI BERAYA SAMA AMANDA PEET KALI AH BULIEHHH? Joke of the day: Kenapa Sjay ketawa???? kenapa nah??
sama kenapa Siti Fatimah sama Siti Amalina pun mcm kirik kirik usul durang? Kenapa nah kenapa??

2nd Day raya at Aunty Bibian & Kamy’s.

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Intercom SELAHAU. BUleh??

Food. Food. Food. The lovely presentation of food by the mother & daughter team. The Nasi Lemak and Chai cupcakes were fabulous! : loves it!

Huhuhu Group photo. hahahahaha royal visit. LOL.

Again. Andangnya org brunei. Inda kurang gambar. huhuhu.

Kan.

RAYA AT THE HARUNS!!! . Third day!

Mun, Zilla, kel, JO *thanks for coming out to play!* & Kamy.

The Girls. This time with Mun.

Yes. I am guilty of taking this picture. hahaha adakah AGAINST the sun! bangang jua eh.

Celebrating Raya ..the true melayu style. Nda tinggal bah bujang lapok.

Sampai Malam non stop. huhuh woohoo.

Speciality: Ayam Goreng.. woohoo. Loves it bitch! huhuhu.

Roast Lamb was also on the menu..but im sure my readers are sick of listening to me rant on and on about my lamb. huhuhu. I also tried my hand at cooking rendang. tapi inda nyaman. pasal sleepy me was cooking it at 3 oclock in the morning and wasn’t patient with the bawang and the curry blend..it was edible pulang .. a tad powdery. but edible. hahaha. I attempted it again a week ago..sama semalam…both came out delicciousss..huhuh.. oh. I also had lasagna, greek salad.. what else ah..nasi impit.. a mix of the west and the east..but no koboi. ee apakan. hahahahahaha. random random.

NAH. PUAS HATI?? Ada plang lagi. jadinya kamu mau aku post semua? WOO. malas tah ku dulu.

kiss me.

I know i know..pictures kan? huhhu.. im sorry but that’d have to wait a lil bit longer. I’ve been busy juggling desperate housewives, Prisonbreak and K-drama Goong (princess hours) that i havent had the time to resize the pictures i took during our “raya” here. I’ve only got a few more to go..so come back tommorow. I promise it’ll be here.

Summer term starts next week. Time sure does fly when all that is that you do is stay home and get fat. I’m still waiting for that call from NATALIE CHOOT. Oi. Chabo. If you want to go out for a decent japanese lunch or whatever it is you want to eat with me you better make that phone call quick ah! My pocket got hole bah!!! [insert cursing in hokkien here]. Don’t pray pray ah. Time is MONEY…you chinese should know better. huhuhu. Don’t take this to heart cause you know deeps in me hearts me loves youse to the moon stop on swanston to get roasted duck and back. huhuhu. Just think of that Beegees song “How deep is your love” when you see me going online-offline on your msn.

PS: A decent japanese lunch doesn’t involve buying $2 handrolls from the “jap” stalls along swanston street ..and eating it whilst walking to the nearest garbage bin to spit it out cause the SALMON tastes like a fish tank full of goldfish (on laxatives)

Speaking of songs. That reminds me. Kel was telling me that she was surfing on you tube the other day and found this clip of Siti Nurhaliza singing to Once’s – DEALOVA at her wedding. Dedicated to yours truly, Datuk K. Please let me walk you through the lyrics.

Na na na na na na na.. (dang, mun ku apal.. aku type nie..)
na na na na na na…
AKU INGIN MENJADI MIMPI INDAH .. DALAM HIDUPMU..

Kel’s reply to this was.. “Eee. MAU YA JADI MIMPI ORANG TUA? CANA KAN TU!?!?” *kirik* *kirik*.

Yes. My Sentiments exactly!!! CEMANA KAN TU?? hahahaha. Sheesh. If you can’t find the video on youtube (i cant be bothered looking for it) then.. just imagine it lah. Aku pun kirik kirik sini ani uleh nya. huhuhuhu. argh. *it all starts on the pinky.. hate her love her hate her love her hate her love her hate her love her hate her love her hate her..OMG.. LOVE.. ok just for today aku ada extra pinky finger*

ok. founds its!!

Thank you Kaka Shashaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

So. Melbourne Cup is.. or WAS here. They had a long weekend for the horse races. That could be a long weekend of getting pissed drunk, losing on bets and spending $2000 on a hat-that-they’re-only-going-to-wear-once for others. Its funny lah the Melbournians. They get FIVE days off (including sat and sun) for betting on races. Hairan ako eh. QUeens birthday nada holiday. Anzac day..Sehari saja..tapi MELBOURNE CUP.. wah.. 5 HARI CUTI.. baruya.. AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE.. MAOK MAOK MAOK.. OI OI OI . But yeah.. for the past few days, the city has been filled with drunks, girls with lovely hats and illegal immigrants sipping on mocha lattes on the pretty Alley ways of melbourne.

Illegal Immigrants comes in many types and sizes. Ada yang.. ILLEGAL banar banar .. prostitutes smuggled in to the land by ship..
workers from china smuggled in to australia.. yang kapisan beasak asak dalam kutak..and there are students whose visas have been canceled due to various reasons. So ok. we were chilling out at Crown today when i started chatting to this other indo girl who was sitting with another group of people next to me. Ok lah we started with small talk.. your name my name your age my age..came the “what do you do” part..i was surprised when she replied “NOTHING”. I asked her if she was on a holiday she said “NO”. so okay fine. I asked her again.. I WAS EVEN MORE SUPRISED WHEN she revealed that her study visa was cancelled 3 weeks ago and that she was now officially an Illegal Immigrant. So i asked her..(banyak tanya kan aku ani) what she was still doing in Australia. So she explained lah..

if she stayed THEY won’t be able to catch her and knowing the australian government banyak lagi kan durang buat besides running after illegal students..so drpd ya kana ban from entering……mm.. ok. this is getting to complicated. let me break it down for you.
1. BY LAW she was supposed to leave Melbourne the moment her visa got cancelled Which would result in her being banned in to coming in to Australia for three years.
2. But this girl decided to stay confident that there’s NO WAY that they could find her. Which is true..to tell you honestly, i dont think the officials could be bothered running after a 20 year old girl whose ONLY fault was OVERSTAYING as a result of unsatisfactory ATTENDANCE.
3.She could flee to Sydney, Brisbane and Perth WITHOUT the officials batting an eye lid. (cause all the ID that you need to fly to these states is really just a student ID or a driver’s license) hence making it much much more harder for them to track her.
4. The only thing that would be hold against her if she gets caught is that she’d be BANNED from coming in to Australia for 3 years.
5. Since she doesn’t see this as a lost on her side.. she might as well stay and enjoy melbourne till she gets sick of it kan???

…. then in that case. She’s stupid . Well..its true pulang..sebelum kana ban baik that enjoy enjoy dulu..BUT What if. Say what if kan..she gets in to a huge bitch fest with one of her mates and the “mate” resorted to calling up the police and tells them that she knows of an illegal immigrant- as a – “DONT FUCK WITH ME OR ELSE I BITCH SLAP YOU BACK TO INDO” thing. Baru ya bitch slap banar. huhuhu.Sendiri tah kau sana atu mendangar lagu Benjamin S arah detention camp. Its true. My friend Nauli had the honour of doing it once. Nauli TURNED her housemate in for being a pain in the butt.

GO NAULI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha. (but that’s another story)

cali lah these people. taking risks like that. baik masa kana antar arah detention center saja? mun kana jail? nauzubillah himinzalik.

Owh well. but thats their problem. hehe. jaga jaga saja your next housemate could be an illegal immigrant!!!

anyway, im off to sleep now.

gonna go to the halal butchers to get meat esok. Lakas abis stock kami sini ani..baik tah kami buka farm saja kali???

kiss me.

ps: this post was starting to look pretty bare.. huhuhu

taken during Maya’s & Syuib’s bday dinner at Sawadee over the wknd. heheh jan marah maya eh. muah!!

aksi kiut. hahahah trying on the hat we bought for syuib. huhuhu.

awu kami sini semua lampoh sudah..sini AYAM AKU nya beinjik bah.

huhuhuhuhu charlie charlie. charlie. charlie. charlie. charlie…tapi eksenku..

Ada orang anie kan semua post nya ya menyindir.. each and every one of her posts! its ridiculous! sometimes i wonder how it is possible to have that many issues with other people. huhuh my mom slalu ckp.. if everyone starts attacking you..it can’t be them with the problems..there must be something wrong with YOU. haha. And u know how “mom” is always right kan? huhuhu.

mudahan tah ya selamat dunia akhirat.. huhuhu.. AMINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

on a completely unrelated note:-

boringkue. raya pictures will be up next as requested by Babu. skajap bu ah. nda lagi lama nie. huhuhu. tetidur2 siti me resize gambar gambar ah.tunggu .. ke safeway dulu kami skajap kan membali barang rumah bah..
toilet paper abis..

i love you bo.. krg ah. tunggu ah.

anakanda siti syazwana

Ataupun lebih manja jika dipanggil Mani. Bushu saya yakni mamalobengs suka bercakap pasal Mani. Sebenarnya Saya pun inda tau kenapa. Mungkin kerana dia telah lama bekerja dengan keluarga saya ((yakni) keluarga benar saya dan bukan keluarga eksen). Dia mula bekerja dengan saya sepuluh tahun yang lalu dan beberapa tahun lepas telah berhenti bekerja kerana banyak alasan yang tidak menentu (seperti pening kepala, bini sakit..itu sakit..ini sakit..itu ini itu ini..sampai majikan pun gila dibuatnya). Tapi sekarang dia sudah balik semula bertugas dengan keluarga kami kerana dia memerlukan uwang. bak kata pepatah..”uwang sini uwang sana..jadi penipu abis lah uwang” UWANG yakni sebenarnya WANG yakni duit. dan jangan lah disama samakan dengan wang, awang, awangku si Wang eee..ataupun Tuminam Timbang.

Mani bekerja sebagai seorang driver dan gardener dan janganlah disama sama kan dengan polis , cops ataupun pemain bola basket antara bangsa yakni itu michael jordan. Dia juga memiliki sebilah pestol handphone berjenama nokia 3310 ringtone JARULE & ASHANTI yang MONO yang dibawanya kesini sana dan fasih berbahasa melayu versi Tamil.

for example:-
Didalam satu SMS nya yang disampaikan kepada dan kehadapan majlis telah berbunyi begini:-

Mani: PUKOL PERAPA AMPEL??

which. in the tamil malay world translates to: PUKUL BERAPA AMBIL. you can also figure this out by saying this sentence out loud.

Dan bila di reply dia akan membalas: “Ok. Sampey soda”

Translation: Ok. Sampai sudah.

His Tamil Malay bukan sahaja nampak didalam SMS SMS nya tetapi juga dari segi pertuturan.

Seperti:- “ini YERrrkoon, kasi naik dua dulu..baruuuu sajokkkk” (as told by Mamalobengs)

dan

Boss: Mani, pergi ayamku balikan ayam untuk saya.
Mani: “ooo..itu AYAM AKU kah?” ya ya ya saya tawu.

dan bermacam macam lah lagi. Ya. Sebenarnya bukan ayam DIA. tetapi ayam orang lain.

Vanekem!! Kerna di Khuatiri Mani di pikir abang kandung saya.. saya kadang2 duduk dibelakang kereta. dan bukan di depan. kdg2 di depan. kerna PANAS pasal aircon kereta ini SAKIT sedikit.

Seperti yang kita lihat di gambar atas. Mani juga merupakan seorang PARKING IDOT. Dan suka memberhentikan kereta di tepi jalan tanpa alasan.. tetapi sebenarnya boss nya yang suruh kerana ingin membeli lemang (jadi in fitnah semata mata). Jadi sebenarnya siapa yang patut di salahkan? Akan kita tinjau lagi soalan ini nanti. Jadi siapa yang ingin membeli lemang sila beli di tepi jalan. tetapi kita bukan bercakap pasal lemang.

Mani juga merupakan seorang “play boy” dan suka mengusik amah amah jiran jiran tetangga. Dia seakan akan Encik Jamil yang didalam wayang Madu 3. Kalau Encik Jamil ada Latifah,Hasnah dan Rohani. Supramaniam ada Arichikuti, Anakili dan Sudhanthira.

heh.

Sungguh famous playboy itu.

Jadi. If any of you happens to see him on the road. Honk him 3 times to remind him that he’s married.

okei thank you. *giling giling macam Anjali junior didalam scene “Mummy” Kuch Kuch Hota He.*

kiss me.