asal bubus bali baru (repost)

I have been deciphering French news all week. Should’ve opted for French instead of Computer Studies in Form 1. I can’t believe Computer Studies was even a thing. Most of us didn’t even have a computer at home to practice with in those days and we were expected to learn DOS Commands by heart. I would’ve gained more mileage learning to count in French. Ani mcm…

C:\> ingat ingau?

I can never remember jua whether it’s a forward backslash or the opposite..and i always get my ‘:’ and ‘;’ mixed up…like how i get identical twins mixed up in real life.. mcm ko ani si Bibi kah Bibah? Si bahadur kah si baharum? Si Mumui kah Si Alai?

I think I would’ve been better off taking HOME ECONOMICS too. Balureh jua ku menjahit sluar kraja ku yang banyak bubus ani. Ani asal cuyak (kuyak, carik, cayik) paksa bali baru…

C:\>asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru asal bubus bali baru

seluar mu pun mau ku menjahitkan.

Lainkali sudah ku beranak, semua anakku ku skulahkan skulah Cina. Mun nada skulah cina, skulah India. Mun nada skulah India, ku tinggalkan dalam hutan suruh beguru sama Iban. I can’t stress how important it is to speak other languages apart from your mother tongue.

But yeah i really need to start learning French properly. At least read lah. I’ll deal with the pronunciation later.

merci pour fixer mon pantalon…

thank you for fixing my pants.

au revoir.

Pet Peeve

Word of caution: this is a rant. if you think you can’t handle bitchy today, please close this window now.

I hate it when people write ‘I won’t add you unless i know you’ on their instagram profile page. It just sounds arrogant, narcissistic and barigali and unless you are someone on the same standing as Princess Syahrini, i reckon the best thing for you to do is to quietly turn down saja these requests. I’m sure at some point your wannabe followers knew what they were getting into anyway.

Jangantah kan perasahan sana atu…mcm ‘haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai aku ani bukan pelakon, bukan artis, bukan penyanyi..bukan pemes lah actuallynya, but pls…………………don’t add me unless u know me k’.

Ku block, delete kau saja sampai kiamat.


This slipar will hit you even if it doesn’t know you.


What is my idea of a perfect day in(doors)?

-Sleeping in and only waking up at noon.
-A whole-day buffet of pizza, cheese burgers, fried chicken, fries and ice cream.
-Hot Chocolate.
-Streaming TV.
-Hours and hours of Sims.

Well. Too bad for me it’s MONDAY which means i’m on a strict diet of rabbit and fish food. I’ve just had my period so there’s absolutely no excuse for me to inhale a line of milk chocolate digestives and the milk that would’ve been perfect to go with it has got to be Soy this week! I can tolerate soy but it takes a lot for me to take out a carton of soy milk from the fridge then it would for full fat. This whole life style change is painful. If i had 3 wishes, one is to wish for faster metabolism. Banartah aku mcm mau ferrari of all metabolisms……. If only i was more aware of my body as a kid. I think i would’ve taken up sports a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago. Macam banar2 ku belajar main Squash..badminton ka…swimming kah.. even running for that matter. If i knew it was this enjoyable i would’ve taken it up in my early 20s. Ani mikin tua ani payah kan kurus. mcm sama lah payahnya mcm kan manjangkan rambut after a really horrible haircut. lol.


d pox jump over d lazy dox…fox u

how’s everybody?

I’m afraid i’ve fallen off the ‘get fit – lose weight’ bandwagon again. Although i’m not so sure. I’m actually very confused to whether i am still on or i’m off. That piece of chocolate i just had just made the gray area even grayer. It never used to be this difficult. I started my weight loss journey in January. Normally, the YOUNGER version of me wud be at least 5kgs lighter by now. I think i’ve only lost about 3 and I gained it all back last week when i caved into my pms slumber. it was so good though.

It could also be that I am just getting bored with Bikram. I mean.. it does get very routine and it’s not like there’s a personal trainer to guide you through the postures, so sometimes in class you’re more than welcome to cheat. when i feel like i don’t want to work hard i’d move all the way to the back of the class to tell my body to take it easy. Anyway, I haven’t given up on myself yet. I’ve hired a personal trainer to get me back on track.

other than that, i havent got much else going on. just struggling to stay away from chocolates and online shopping.

funny story. well it’s funny now. not so much when it happend (STORY OF MY LIFE BTW LOL)

so i was in search for the winter jacket or coat of my dreams. sometime in october last year i came across a fur gilet from Yves Salomon. it was everything that i ever wanted but i absolutely couldn’t afford the 800euros price tag so i told myself ill keep an eye out for it during the winter sales. which by the way, came and went and the next thing i knew the gilet was sold out (even wayyyy before the sale). so those who know me know that once i have my heart on something, i rarely give up easily. so i searched the web for the gilet like a lost family member and traced it to a UK based site who despite the winter sale were selling them for 900 POUNDS. So i told myself, again, ok la. nda papa. i’ll wait for the sales. Everyday after that i religiously followed the coat like a cult clicking on the website.. every frickin hour.

A few weeks later my heart skipped when i got an alert in my mail telling me that the price has dropped to 300 pounds. So naturally i ran to my wallet to get my credit card an attempted to make a purchase online……….which to my disheartenment did not go through because my bank thought it was a fraud site. when i finally managed to sort it out with my bank, the jacket was SOLD OUT. AGAIN. i was like ok lah i said to myself ‘maybe it’s not meant to be……’ but at the same time didn’t waste ANY time making another search for the item – which led me back to the original site that i originally had seen it on……. and to my surprise it was back in stock and was still going for 800euros. So ok after quickly playing out the justifications in my head:

1. because its winter.
2. inshallah ill be here for at least 2 more winters.
3. it’s a statement/classic piece.’s fucking yves salomon

i bought it!

2 days later it arrived on my desk.

My colleague happened to barge in to my room as i was opening my package and he asked me what it was.. and i was like..dengan BANGGANYA.. ku BAGITAU ‘JEKET BULU BULUANZZZZZ, KELAAAAASSSSSS’. Skali ia tanya ‘ Bulu apa?’ …dengan bangganya ku lagi ckp ‘BULU RACOON SAMA PPPPPOXXXX (fox)’. the moment ‘fox’ escaped my lips.. i froze… my colleague went silent as if trying to process something. and suddenly, the same light bulb switched on over our heads… “Ji..” i said in a slow voice… “POX ani…bukan….kuyuk kah….. ”

my colleague, after thinking about it for awhile and what came out like a whisper replied, ‘aku pun baru teclick….awu…’

skalinya…. KIAMAT…

nda lah..haha Skalinya..teduduk ku sekajap menganangkan nasib ku. I have been eyeing the item since october..and in all those months i was waiting to get it i KNEW it was made of FOX FUR but for some reason.. it’s religious sensitivities never resonated. It was only when i opened the box in front of my colleague that i realise… yang pox ani is actually family of d dox. I’ve consulted several other people on the subject and they all had differing views.

Acknowledging the gray area that surrounds it, i decided to let it go 🙁 huhuhu. mcm imagine ku be gilet gilet fox..tapi pakai tudong. hahaha. i mean i may as well be carrying a pig for a backpack. sigh. when it’s not meant to be it’s not meant to be. 10 days later.. I got my refund..all of it.. thank god! and i’m just going to save the money for a rainy day. i think someone up there is trying to teach me a lesson not to splurge on nonsense.

tapi ada jua baiknya i didnt get it off that UK website cause otherwise i wouldnt be able to return it. baik jua i was prepared to pay full price. lol.

yves salomon tah ku lagi.. SALMON tia karang. hahahaha.

membali baju sajuk seri gala saja ku…..

hahahahaha seri gala…lagi tia..big dox.

tekanang tah ku kan nini girl ku masa kami cuti ke Brisbane. she was at Cotton On going through a pile of tshirts to get for my Bushu.. when she suddenly turned to one of my cousins and pointed to the word FOXY on a shirt.. and asked her ‘Lai, kan membalikan baju untuk bushu mu.. apa nya ni lai?.. FUCK YOU?’ bless her.

next on my list..

ani buleh. ani MINXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. 8000euro harganya dang…makaseh. no monies.

but in truth, i shouldnt want to wear real fur. But i dont understand the logic of paying the same amount for faux fur. Stella Mccartney does them in faux and i also know that the designer avoids using leather at all costs. tapi harganya mcm original materials.

baik kamu check sebelum membali.

ori inda ori one thing..tapi kalau ori tapi fox atu pun……………………………………………….dot dot dot.

i was talking to May when the subject of ‘dot dot dot’ came up..

‘Perempuan, Isteri dan …’ lol and May was saying, mau kan jadi controversial tapi JALANG/PELACUR atu pun takut2 kan menyabut. lol. hahahaha. kalau ku ngucapkan urang pun bisai tu..

kau ani ah sudah tah ‘Bida… Ulah mu lagi mcm … DOT DOT DOT’.


pox dox dan dot dot dot.

k bye

Back to Bikram

I browsed my old posts for documentations of my first Bikram experience. It was on 19 November 2007.It was 8-ish years ago when i first tried out this variation of yoga – and loved it. Bikram is one of those things that you would either love or hate. And i happened to love it. The only reason why i stopped was because i came to the end of my studying years in Melbourne and had to go back to Brunei.

I picked it up again in the Winter of 2014 while i was working in New York. Disheartened (and FAT) that i wasn’t able to run in the cold i picked up my mat and signed up for 6 weeks of Bikram Yoga which was conveniently located a few blocks away from the United Nations. And just like that, i had fallen in love with it all over again. I was dating Bikram for a month and a half and went home to Brunei a slimmer, happier, new me – and then Brussels happened, Chocolate happened. Frites happened. Gaufre happened. SHIT happened.

The only Bikram yoga studio close to my workplace sucked. I recall mentioning it in my previous posts, instructors were shit and i simply gave up going. Anyway, by August of last year i found myself with a few spare tyres and absolutely nothing to wear 🙁 . Desperate, I turned to private Pilates lessons. Although it didn’t really help me with my weight loss, Pilates did inspired me to get back on track. I was eating well and exercising more. Before i knew it it was December..and in the harshness of winter, i felt the need to sweat so i told myself i’d give bikram yoga another go despite it’s short comings.

And boy, I’m glad i went to that class because it was absolutely the best thing that has happened to me since moving to Belgium.

As my luck would have it , the old studio was bought out by a new owner who converted the Bikram slum to a proper Bikram Yoga Studio, with actual certified yoga teachers! The new owner apparently lived and taught in Australia for a few years before moving back to Belgium.

Who would’ve thought an 11 y.o establishment would be revamped during my time in the country? I guess it was meant to be. I was meant to be a Bikram Yogi. lol. So now I try to go 4 times a week and I’ve been at it for almost six weeks now and i’m starting to feel alot better. To date, I’ve lost all the unnecessary weight i’ve packed in the last year (THANK GOD) but I have to lose at least 5kgs more reach my goal..

and my goal is to be Gigi Hadid………………NOT.

lol. I just want to fit into nice clothes again. i love clothes. But yeah if you’re anywhere near a Bikram Studio i recommend you to give it a go, the postures aren’t as intense as the other Yogas but you just need to get used to the heat. I love it because the heat reminds me of running in the tropics – sans coconut water. I also try to get 45 minutes of running on the treadmill a week and some light weights in my routine. Only because I want nice slim arms for summer.

Monday beckons. Time for Savasana.


dalam perjalanan ini,
mencari arti mengenali diri,
siapa kita sebenarnya,
tika dan waktu suatu suratan,
akhirnya ketemu…

akhirnya ketemu…

aku rindu.