Style ku seratus.

Constantly wiping off croissant crumbs from the corners of my mouth, dari baju, dari mija , dari screen telipun, dari screen laptop… a sure sign that 1. IM DEFINITELY NOT HUNGRY 2. im being over-fed with croissants. mcm grass-fed chicken rasaku.. tapi aku croissant-fed human, kalau ku kan kana sembalih awal ani lamak kali, mcm mentiga.

Croissant crumbs for me these days are the equivalent to cat fur.oh, whaddaya know! have a new pet croissant.

ive moved in to my VERY SMALL house (with 5 bedrooms and a futsal-sized backyard). thank god babu and twana rose are here to help me pack and unpack. of course, it would be even better if the rest of the Harun pack were here.i have all the space in the world to fit 2 families in my home. It’s ok. i still consider myself the luckiest gal in this whole wide world for 1. being fed croissants on an almost-daily basis 2. having the best mommy and sister in this whole wide world 3. lawa lagu “Baek” ani.

ive bought two sets of tv. satu untuk living room. satu untuk bedroom. at least inda sunyi. isuk isuk tetalan tv. juling ku meliat tv the whole weekend ah. im toying with the idea of getting a cat. but im trying to jaga hati Pepinot. Tapi ku dangar, Pepinot is growing fond of Maimunah (the housemaid).

maybe i should get a Maimunah, just to piss him off. ada ada saja nama amah kami dirumah atu.. ariatu si Maggi, sekali si Nini..lapas atu si Maimunah. kami tukar tukar amah mcm tukar baju dalam. bukan pasal kami mau. pasal pandai hapak.

in anycase, its not even April yet and im already broke. I made it rain in Ikea and Media Markt over the weekend and now i have to raise money for a car. I’ve accepted the fact that i’m going to be staying in the ulu-ulu of Brussels. i just need to seal this acceptance with a second-hand car.

i will try to make the best out of these 3 years. i don’t want to go home feeling that ive wasted my time on something that i i had initially wanted so badly.

always fucking count your blessings syaz. even if your fingers are numb from the unforgiving cold weather.


Mesti pandai beshukur. tahu beshukur. ingat beshukur. beshukur lah. kalau nama mu si Shukur, shukur alhamdulillah.

kiss me.

Jemapelle Sas, Je suis Bruneian.

In a new land. This time for a 3 year stint.

So it’s just me and my thoughts again- and a bottle of what i had mistaken for ‘strawberry milk’. That’s one of the things i hate about being in a foreign land – the language barrier. It’s even more difficult when this foreign land has two official languages. Dutch and French. Trips to supermarkets can’t be anymore confusing! Aisles and Aisles and Aisles are stocked up with products labelled both in Dutch and French. Good thing i have been acquainted to smoked Salmon..bringing home the BACON is just something that doesn’t apply to me haha. And so, the struggle to tell the difference between strawberry milk and strawberry YOGHURT DRINK begins. It may take a while. But i’ll get there.

I’ve enrolled in Bikram Yoga cause i’ve made up my mental strength that i am not able to run in the dead of winter. I had my first class today and fortunately it was carried-out in English with a heavy European accent. It was hard not to giggle when the instructor kept on telling the class to POO (pull) POO (pull) POO and POO (pull). So there i was POO-ing the afternoon away in a 40 degree heated room, like it was nobody’s BUSINESS. hahahahaha see what i did there?

It’s the weekend. The city’s pretty quiet in comparison to NY which i had the opportunity to spend 3 months last year for work. I guess any city dims in comparison to NYC. hahaaha there’s no place quite like it. I just realised that i didn’t document any of my time there on the blog.I guess work had kept me busy.

It’s funny how i get to spend a full season of winter, the first half in new york and the second in Brussels with a short break in the tropical island of Borneo in between. Haha. I think my tan gave me away here.. one look, and these people know that i’m fresh off the boat.

Being alone again also means that i have upped my social media game..i am now not only Facebook, Twitter and Instagram but i’ve also signed up to Path, Soundcloud, SNAP CHAT, Oovoo, skype, google+ , vine….and the list is endless. I am also happy to find out that NETFLIX have just gone online in Belgium – i am over the moon.

Anyway, i should shower. I hope to write again soon.

a bientot.

kiss me.

Sounds of home.

so puasa came..and went. raya’s practically over now that i have started work again. but its ok. i think i made the most out of ramadhan and raya this year. i caught up with my running and i think i’m the fittest that i’ve been since the start of last year. i just realised how much i love being outside. i enjoy watching sunsets at a pace of 8km/h. Sunsets in Brunei are not to be missed. even when its hot and it feels like a hairdryer outside, one should never take the blue bruneian skies for granted.

ive to come to realise this raya that it’s the little things that matter. i’m at my happiest when i’m at home. it’s a good thing that i live in a full house ..although it can get pretty quiet… but most times there’s just so many things going on that i dont know where or how to start documenting it..

haha like the other night as i was going to bed, i could hear my dad replaying what could be a video of him belting out to Ismail Marzuki’s Rindu Lukisan over and over and over and over and over and over to the point that i fell asleep.. half annoyed at my dad’s narcissistic side.. half of me also felt secure knowing that my dad is still up to protect the house and family from any harm.

And then there’s the happy giggles and cries of baby Safa – my one year old niece, whose presence has only made the house an even more better place to live in.

In the afternoons or sometimes even in the middle of the night there’s always at least ONE family member including myself or BAPA calling for Bane (the house cat, we have TWO) to come home. Pepinot (the other cat) every now and then would also kick up a fuss if Bane’s away from the house for too this point Pep would start meowing AT ME to call on Bane to come home..and i would immediately obey.

Every Sundays from 2-4pm there would be continuos ringing of the door bell for Brownie o’clock thats when we have people coming over to collect their chocolate fix. I also love it when my siblings come together to sing on the piano or the guitar and the laughter that would follow from the jokes and make fun that we throw at each other. It’s also a wonderful thing that we live near the mosque and i find comfort in the calls of prayer through out the day.

one of the most valuable lessons that i’ve discovered in the last couple of that one must truly know how to laugh at themselves BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE. it doesn’t only make you realise that you are not any better than anyone else..but at some point..i believe that it does help with things like….self confidence..some say, you only grow up when you have your first real laugh – at yourself! haha so yeah happy belated birthday to me :)

this is going to be the LAST YEAR of my twenties *gasp* Note to self: find a husband.

work is back on full gear. i can only hope that i don’t fall off this happy bandwagon that i’m currently riding. i must for the life of me..learn to multi-task efficiently. i must find that elusive work-life balance that people are constantly promoting.

so before i start ranting about work.. i should stop at this happy place and i would like to wish my readers.. whoever you are, i hope it’s not too late for me to wish you a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin, i doa for you all the peace and happiness in this whole wide world and akhirat.

kiss me.

Selamat Berpuasa.

its 3am. and i have to wake up at 7am tomorrow. technically, its today.

There’s an in-house meeting that starts at 8:30 am that we are coordinating. The first two days of puasa has been somewhat easy, given the fact that it was a long weekend. the REAL puasa starts tomorrow..i mean TODAY

I have no idea how i’m going to survive today. it would be the first time in NEVER that i turn up to the office without an ounce of caffeine in my body. it doesn’t help that we have a centralized air conditioning system at work..which means that i will TRY not to freeze to death.

this is how i would usually get when im at the office during the fasting month:-
1. my fingers would start turning a pale shade of blue.
2. followed by the shaking of the body.
3. and then i become sleepy.
4. so sleepy.

repeat 30 hari.

(skali baik jua inda jadi Ais di opis atu. haha. kalau bagi perisa stoberi.. jadi AISkrim Stoberi…)


but yeah that’s on a good day. on a bad day.. i just want to kill someone. true story.

puasa is usually the time when i realize that i should have slowly weaned myself off coffee…but as usual, i never learn.

but then again, what is puasa without all of its challenges kan?

*skajap aku bedoa dulu..*

i seek your strength and guidance to last me through this holy month …and i want the same to be extended to all my family and friends.


its 3.

great. only 4 hours till i have to wake up.


no money.

I tweeted that i didn’t have money earlier on. Only because i didn’t enough enough to score me a Chanel number that i’ve been coveting for a while now.

As i was packing for my work trip to Viet Nam and Tokyo and i remembered that i still have several left over Yen in coin form stashed somewhere in my room. I stopped what i was doing to recover my Mimco coin pouch that i’ve kept hidden from sight for several years now. I keep all of these coin pouches at random places in my room…not because i want to hide them from anyone..hehe im just unorganized like that 😛

Anyway, I was going through the metal foreign currencies..when i realised that they were not all foreign. Most of them were Brunei 50cent coins. and i thought? gila jua. all this while, i thought i was utilising them well!

as i was sorting them out i must’ve collected at least 30bucks worth of Brunei coins. Adding on to that, i also collected Euros and Pounds and Kroners that can buy me at least 5 Spicy Mc Chicken Meals and a pretzel from Aunty Annes. I also found enough Australian coins to pay for at 2 daily tram tickets in Melbourne… and 11 $1 Singaporean coins that can afford me trashy magazine on my transit in Changi tomorrow.

balum lagi susah namanya ni!!! How can i not know i had all that money stashed in my almari? i didn’t even bother looking at them had i not wanted to cari all the Yens that to pay for my Matcha icecream in Tokyo.

i really thought that was just very ungrateful of me. Chanel bag or no chanel bag, you always have to count your blessings!

like you count your money.

#janganjuabetiada #balumlagisusah #alhamdulillah

kiss me.

Lets play migrate migrate.

Top 5 places that i would love to migrate to (if i had the opportunity):

1. Auckland
2. Canberra
3. Melbourne
4. Belgium
5. New York

Auckland knocked Melbourne off for top spot. Only because Melbourne’s getting very crowded these days and the standard of living has substantially increased since we were last there. Canberra would be a cheaper alternative. Being mindful that it does have a reputation for being dead during the night. Who cares? It’s the same in Brunei.

But i’m sure there are more things to do now in canberra compared to 4 years ago. Who needs a Starbucks anyway? hehe.

But i really feel like i can live in Auckland. Blue skies, great weather.. and somewhat cheaper than the other cities ive mentioned. the people are also much nicer, more down to earth than the ones that ive met in Australia.

As for Melbourne, i can consider. Only if i land myself on a good paying job that could cover my living expenses and a nice 3 bedroom in Camberwell. I’ve included Belgium in the list, cause i’ve been there a couple of times i found it to be very liveable despite it being a non-english speaking country. I wouldn’t mind brushing up on my French or maybe learn Flemish.

New york, the centre of the universe. who wouldn’t want to live in the centre of the universe? Aside from having alot of things to do.. it’s a good place for inspiration..and i also truly believe that it lives up to its reputation of being the land of opportunities. i would love to make a career out of lending my voice to tv commercials. hahaha. but I would choose to live in a 3 bedroom house over a small apartment in SoHo in a heart beat. NYC is wayyyy out of my budget.

having said all that… for now there’s nowhere i’d rather be but home.

Brunei, is where the heart is.

kiss me.

red flag.

Hi dolls.

im bored bordering on depressed. siok ni begaru sampai tutup tutup mata. haha. pakai garpu. haha how gross.

i really have nothing to say. apart from the fact that i am having instagram withdrawals. my mobile line’s not working here. and the wifi access we have at the hotel doesn’t support instagram. ive been here close to a week and aside from getting facebook notifications on my mobile (which i can’t access – such a tease kan?) ..i have been deduced to only whatsapp as a way of connecting with the outside world.

i cannot imagine having to live with the internet here. i cannot imagine life with restricted internet access. imagine getting a blocked message everytime you enter a search for something as insignificant as “Strawberry cream filled profiteroles”…how contentious can a strawberry profiterole be..mcm its like living in the y2k2 ages. haha i mean y2k. (hahaha y2k2..haha ingat YMRM? lol) only with fast internet but limited access to information.

you wouldn’t think something like this would have a huge impact on your life until you experience it first hand. i am all for freedom of the internet.

lol apparently losing instagram was enough to turn me into an activist.

3 more days.

i cannot wait to catch up with jimmy fallon on youtube.

Ni hao.

Planning a trip to see the Hassans in June. The heart really wants to go back to Melbourne, but i cannot afford the calories at the moment. So i decided on a 3-day trip to see some of my best friends in this whole wide world in KL city #havoc. It’s about time too.

Aside from ‘bumping’ in to them on my work trips every now and then (the company they work for sends them overseas frequently), i dont think ive spent any quality time with them after leaving melbourne for good …6 years ago. eh. actually. actually nya. actually so..haha (actually so tia lagi)…actually THIS (haha) i have la. what am i talking about. i did paid them a visit a few times when they were still in just not recently. haha.

ive just texted Nawa and asked her to take me to Fatty Crab. Not that i have ever been, but i know it’s the most frequented restaurant by bruneians for chicken wings and crabs…on INSTAGRAM. im a sucker for instagram updates of food. exsp the ones that roll in at around midnight. thats how i know the americans are up. lol. out of the 800 people i’m following, 400 of them are random foodies.

if only my life was ALL about food..and travelling ah? oh and family and friends. my soul would really like that.

bangun pagi jalan jalan belayar belayar makan makan..blogging blogging. skali kana bayar. skali kana bayar, org minta advert, kana bayar. org minta taruh gambar arah instagram bayar.. org suruh dtg event…bayar. org minta bayar..kana bayarkan.. atu baratah #FUNEMPLOYED #FUNEMPALOI #MEMALOI

oh loves it. maybe i shud go on a sabbatical and get it out of my system ah. haha

siok jua tu mcm hari hari hari hari angan angan… angan angan time bfast..angan angan time lunch..angan angan time dinner skali tidur…bangun..skali angan angan lagi time driving..hahaha skali kana hon..skali drive lagi sikit..skali ada traffic light merah..angan angan lagi.

wah syazwana, you are VERY LAH AMBITIOUS.


oh what a life that would be.

i think i finally know what i want to be when i grow up.. i want to be a prettier version of ranoadidas and own a chain of brownieterie/croissanterie/coffee shops in Serusop but i will settle for just ONE hehe. but first i have to learn how to make croissants. lol. and roll my french ‘Rs’ properly. so that i can teach the whole of brunei how to pronounce croissant properly.

oh. just a (french)(Rrrr)omantic idea that i have. but hey. anything’s possible.


yeah. i think i should take that holiday. i only hesitated because of the plane ride. the thought of having to go on a plane FOR a holiday shits me. im sick of travelling for hours in ‘le kelas de kambing.’ sakit badan bah. sama its dirty. just the thought of having to take a plane home irks me now.

oh what to do. baik lagi dpt mampu masih holiday belayar. inda ja inda ja. #besyukur #alhamdulillah #semogatuhanmemurahkanrezeki #amin

bah aku booking ticket dulu. eps. ticket booking. cuti lagi balum approve. hahahahahah i didn’t really hesitated because of the plane ride..i hesitated pasal cuti balum approve. mengisi borang pun balum. hahaha

mana tia borang ani.

kiss me.


i initially wanted to share with the world what happened to me last weekend. but i decided not to. hence the one liner in the last post. shit happens. you just learn to deal with it.

it’s almost the end of march. work is piling up by the day. but i’m telling myself to take everyday in stride. whining is for losers. one should not whine too much if they want to succeed in this world. so ive decided that from now onwards, im going to do a little less whining and a little more of happiness. although, a few bursts of rants every now and then could be considered as healthy.

this is the new me. no more whining. just doing.

i have also decided to omit all unnecessary noise from my life. i realised i have enough drama to last me a life time.

i will also try to talk to god more often.

im turning 30 in less than two years.

some things have got to change.

and i will start from me.