I’m still here and breathing (in garlic breath). After months of being here, i’ve finally cracked the code to the ultimate korean dream:- how to be skinny like the Korean girl sitting on the next table. It’s so simple. It’s not even rocket science.

Sitting here at the Japanese food court, my view is of a Korean woman centered around a group of rowdy korean men. She’s no doubt prettier than the average woman in South Korea long legs, facial features of a caucasian..or an artificial KOR-casian if i may say..and a body that would easily fit in to a SIZE XXXS “FREE SIZE” dress (i’ve come to realise that the FREE in FREE size stands for FAT GIRLS ARE “FREE” TO F OFF) She’s the type you would definitely see of cat-walking down the streets of Garosu-gil. It comes as a no brainer to why she is in the company of so many men.

So here i am, wondering what this free size wearing bitch will be having for lunch? as if judging my plate of rice, one of the men brought over a bowl of Vietnamese Pho over flowing with bean sprouts and placed it in front of her. And i’m here going: “pfft. i knew it!” but what really surprised me was the fact that the woman was asking for more bean sprouts from the other men. One by one, the men using their chopsticks, transferred their portion of bean sprouts in to the woman’s bowl and she was more than happy to gobble it all up …macam arnab.

and in my head, i was like: THIS IS WHY THEY’RE SKINNY. THEY LOOK LIKE WOMEN..but they’re actually rabbits. haha nadalah. im just jealous. all seriousness, they’re skinny because they eat more of vegetables than anything else. Upon my realisation, i saw that most of the women in the room were either having soup , vegetables or fruits for lunch.

Like a conspiracy theory, on the way back from the restaurant, i overheard a woman ordering a kebab and told the guy manning the stall that she wanted more veg and less meat in her kebab. A girl who passed by me on the escalator was carrying a container of mini tomatoes that i know would go down her throat like blueberries.

and they were ALL skinny girls.

so you see. all you need to be skinny around here are fruits and vegetables. for kro-casian features, well. you have the beauty clinics in Seoul for that.

next time, i’ll be carrying a SACK of TOMATOES up the escalators! WOOOOOOT.

kiss me.

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